Some of you might be concerned with how I am coping back in this city which holds so many precious memories of my little princess Char.
Truth is I thought I would break down completely but I didn't. There were moments, split seconds when it felt like I was so close to breaking down but that complete meltdown just didn't happen.
Many scenes replayed in my head. It's almost 2 years and yet it felt like just yesterday that I walked down the same path... The same hospital, the same playroom... Said hello to the same people... I can even visualize myself pushing that stroller with Char in it... Her many faces at many corners of RMDH...
The nurses remember too. They remember Charmaine Lim Fan Xi. They remember me - Charmaine's mom. Most couldn't recognize Jase immediately bc he has grown. Some nurses remember more things that I do. The cheerleading costume that Charmaine wore for 2010 Halloween...
Everyone ran to give us big warm hugs. Silent tears were shed. No words need to be said.
Love is all around.
I remember many things.
But most importantly, it's the small things that I remember most.
I remember how I was so stressed and walked around FAO Schwarz leaving Char and Jase with the volunteers playing. I knew that Char didn't like me out of sight but I just needed my breather. I walked back to a sobbing Char whom was crying her lungs out.
Indeed, all the big things, biggest decisions I made for us during our journey don't seem to count as much as the small things I did when I walk down memory lane now and reflect back...
I learn again...
It's truly the smaller, seemingly more insignificant actions that will actually leave the bigger imprints and probably make up the regrets when we look back...
Its the small things that matter. Don't overlook the insignificant everyday actions. They might just end up the very regrets you wished you had done it better...
Thank you for life's precious lessons, my love.
Always missing you.
Love,
Cyn mommy
