Emergent MRI

Char woke up this morning unable to pee again... First sign of ANOTHER possible spinal cord compression... I don't know what to say... We just had the emergent decompression surgery barely a month ago right here and we were discharged for only a couple of weeks...

I just had to hold my own baby AGAIN and tell her that she has to have another urinal catherer inserted and she might have to have another major operation... And she has to go through MORE PAIN AGAIN.

Please pray that the scan will show NO spinal cord compression and that she will not need another surgery. Just how much does Heaven think I can bear, I really have NO IDEA. I know I will walk through fire if I have to, for my own child... BUT... This is truly too much to ask of my girl... It honestly hurts so much...

I don't even know how I dragged char and myself to the Emergency...

I can barely process and I can barely function... I'm on auto pilot mode again... This feels like a nightmare... A nightmare that's never-ending...

Looking at Charmaine... I don't even know HOW she does it... Just being her... Going through all these horrific ordeals time and again... And yet, she never ever wavers in her determination to want to get well... She is fighting so hard to live... She is fighting so hard for her mom and her brother to live...

Please give my baby a break and let her live... She deserves it... She deserves the chance to live more than I do... Take my life, make me suffer... Whatever... Just PLEASE give my poor child a break and let her live happily, normally and healthily!

Tomorrow, we were so excitedly preparing to go to her School's Primary 1 Open House... Jase is performing... Now everything is ruined... All thanks to you, cancer. :-(((((

Please pray and pray and pray for char to get well...

Thank you.

Love,
Cyn mommy