I dream of Char!!! I barely just dozed off for 20mins. And it was a dream in a dream. In my dream, my folks came in to wake up me up barely after I fallen asleep and I grumbled. Then I went back to sleep. And soon after, don't know why, I was roused up again and I said I was going to another house to sleep. Apparently my parents and I have 2 different house. I walked out at 3am and this family of 4 with 2 kids came chatting loudly. Kids were running across the road towards my parents house which I was in now. I realized that I had left my heels outside the main door so went to get and decided to look towards the direction of the family. Just behind the family, there SHE is!!! My baby girl Char! I know it's her because she smiled at me so happily. Doing a pose across the road with a right hand on her hip and left hand pointing upwards, with a smirk and mischievous face. I miss you my dearest child. She is wearing her green shirt we bought in NYC with a skirt and leggings. She has a laugh bird perched on her left shoulder. I kept calling and screaming to her that I miss her and I love her so much, clearly knowing in my dream that she is no longer here with me but I was happy. I just wanted to let her know as much as possible that I love her. She smile her biggest grin at me and before I know it, she floated upwards and she kept waving her left hand at me happily... she never stopped smiling and monkeying around and she looks so happy...
And it's 3:39am now... I woke up crying... Don't know if I was dreaming or I was simply too tired...
Not sure if it is merely me thinking of her subconsciously... Whatever it is, I got to see those smiles I miss so dearly...
It's been 6 months... Without my precious child.
I love you Charmaine.. How I wish we were meant to be together as a family for decades... How I long to hear your voice again... How I wish to be able to hold and hug you tightly... To hear you shout your "love you"s...
But it seems that you are meant to be somewhere else... You must be happy OKAY? Happier and so much more blissful than when you are with me...
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7 comments:
I miss you too, lil Char!! Thank you for letting us know that you are happy in Heavens with God! Till we meet you again...
her lovely smiles will be forever etched in your heart. heaven has taken your daughter to a lovely place instead of all these suffering she had to endure, but memories is something they will never take away from you.
(a fellow blogger who has since hopped to this blog and can't get away since)
i wish you the best in your future endeavors. always remember, keep smiling for char :)
Cyn, finally a dream of Lil' Char without sadness and pain but only filled with happiness and joy....I hope you draw your strength and peace from this dream....
this brought tears to my eyes..
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, feelings and precious moment to the public. You're the best mom Charmaine would want to have forever. I don't think any mommy will do better than you.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, feelings and precious moments of Charmine. You're a great mom who Charmaine would want to have forever. Others mom would not do better than you. You really is a great mom. Time is the best medicine. You still have Jase with you. Soon it will be replaced by best moments.
How are you, lil' princess? How are you doing in Heavens? I know you must be happy up there becos in Heavens, there is nothing else but Love and Happiness and Peace. Juz to let you know that Auntie misses you... Nt only today but everyday.
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