We are on the favourite part of our roller coaster ride!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

And that would be the steep vertical drop...

Usually the most thrilling and exciting part of a roller coaster ride, which will send your heart thumping faster and blood pressure shooting up.

Ironically, my heart has been throbbing faster and my blood pressure is everywhere too. Nonetheless, the adjectives used to describe my emotions isn't 'thrilling' or 'exciting'. Instead, I've been feeling unsettled, anxious and just worried.

~~~ Positive Port Infection ~~~
Lots of insane things going on with us here. We started Nifurtimox on Sat as planned and we were checking into the Emergency before midnight with a high fever. I don't know what to say. Conincidence? Don't know. She also lost almost all appetite immediately after her afternoon dose. And she was in a great deal of excruciating pain. Sharp contraction pains that come on and off as they deem fit.

By Sunday, we found out that she has a positive port infection. First time ever in our more than 2 years of journey. I don't know if our luck finally ran out or because her port wasn't handled appropriately by Mt E. hospital. Or if Nifurtimox wiped out her immunity in just 2 doses? Don't know and won't ever know. All I care about now is for her port infection to clear up as soon as possible. With this ongoing infection, we pretty much can't do much to slow her disease down and it freaks me out to know we are just letting the mutant cells go free like that.

And the worst of all has to be seeing her in so much pain that she can't even move her body an inch. I don't understand why kids have to go through such suffering and pain... They barely even enjoyed life yet! Just simply where is the mercy for all these innocent little ones that the world is supposed to protect and nurture???

Even traveling in the ambulance daily to Mt E for her RT is a sheer torture.

This morning, she is shaking and having these little tremors she can't seem to control... She can only ask "mom, why am I shaking?" Her fever has subsided by Monday but these tremours and chills are making me very uneasy! I'm a very stressed and exhausted mom...

I'm trying my very best to make sure I am not missing out on any symptoms... And yet, I'm forcing myself to think like a doctor... What to do when this happens, what to do when that happens... When should we start this or when shall we do that... I trust our doctors but I like to brainstorm and concur my ideas with those of the physicians... just to make sure that we covered our base as best as possible...

Alright, I can't update anymore. Brain dead.

Please continue to pray for my little girl... Pray that her infection clears... Pray that her immunity climbs up and pray that we can start some sort of treatment soon to slow down her cancer...

Thank you.

Cyn mommy


stacey said...

I hope this story inspired you. The boy saw "recovery" despite he had to go through the difficult treatment. He saw wellness and not sickness. He did everything he could to walk on the path of wellness. Can you say he was in denial? A strong belief makes everything possible. It's called faith. It changes the chemistry of a body. http://www.parkwaycancercentre.com/healthnews/article/328

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