Emergent Spinal Cord Op NOW

I have been unable to get onto blogspot the entire time we are inpatient it's so frustrating!

Finally a friend just fixed it.

I will keep the long story for another day but the short story is I NEED HELP.

PLEASE FOR CHAR to have a successful operation and walk out of hospital.

It's been a devastating week for me... I'm heartbroken and I'm just miserable... I don't even know what words can I say...

We are out of curative options now and she has been in a great deal of pain. We have been inpatient for a week and is still struggling to keep her pain under control....

This morning, she woke up unable to move her lower body and unable to urinate...

Our Radiation Oncologist Dr Lee from Mt E rushed us down for an emergent MRI of her spine.... And I got another devastating news...
This honestly is insane and is just so unfair. As if me having to watch my own daughter suffer in pain daily and unable to help isn't enough misery for this mother here. As if me watching all her tumors growing right in front of my eyes every minute, every day isn't enough to suck the life out of me!!! I really feel like I am dying literally.

And as if me having to watch my own child slowly fade away from me each day isn't cruel enough for me....

I can barely breathe each day... I can barely hold myself together... I can badly even feel anything except sadness and misery and devastation....

And it isn't enough?!?!? WHY?!?!?

Dr Lee ran out of the MRI room, asking if I am okay to push char into an emergent spinal operation. I replied, "I cannot think."

What is wrong with this world? What is wrong with me? What is wrong with my family???

I am very grateful to Dr Lee. He basically was the one who started running around, making all the necessary calls... Called Dr Aung, tried to call KKH and get hold of the neurosurgeon...

And than before I know it... Dr Seow from KKH was informed and than the next thing I know is, the team at KKH were waiting for us to come back to KKH in our ambulance... so they could wheel charmaine into the OT to releases the compression on her spinal cord that is causing her to lose the functions of her legs and bladder and god knows what....

I want to say I feel like shit but I know Char is more traumatized than me. When I opened my eyes and saw the scared, shocked expression on her face... I knew something wasnt right... She is freaking out that she couldn't move her legs but yet she didn't shed a tear...

It has been one hell of a day gone terribly wrong... And you think it couldn't get any worse than watching your own child fade away... But yet again, I am wrong. It can get much worse and it did...

Please pray for me that her surgery will be completed successfully and that she will regain the use of her legs and bladder, despite all the other tumor pains....

I will try to update as we go along...

Love,
Cyn mommy