Its Tuesday morning... We are waiting for Char PET scan and I don't know what I'm thinking.
We started chemo last Friday. I want to tell you what cycle that is but I lost count. Am I pathetic or is it me aging exponentially?
I know I have to be positive. I know I have to cast away all my negative thoughts.
But believe me, it's insane. Its beyond insanity actually. To be able to see the tumors with your naked eyes and to be able to track their growth like a medical doctor. I didn't know that a mother has to endure anything like that... Beyond anything humane.
I dont want to know the results tmr. I don't think I can come and collect the report and not suffer a heart attack or a stroke.
What am I supposed to do? I pictured them as frogs and is willing them to just die and disappear but my will power is heavily used up... Barely enough to last me another day...
We are finishing up chemo today and hopefully, we will finally go home and sleep on our beds. We have not even touched them since we landed.
I can't write any more.
But please keep those prayers coming in. Please pray that we have good scan results.
Please pray that Char pain is controlled and she can regain her ability to walk again.
Thank you all.