At Urgent Care with a darn fever now :-(

Sunday, September 12, 2010


That darn fever spiked at 1930hrs! Argh!

I nearly just wanted to stop breathing myself at that moment!
I could feel my tears wanting to burst out literally, overcome with fears, anxiety and desperation. Really wanted to crumble but I couldn't. Charmaine herself was already close to tears because she knew what a fever meant. Inpatient.

Anyway, I kept breathing and I kept pushing my brain to think what I should do and prepare next.

We reached the hospital abt an hour later. It's now 2300hrs and we are still here. The amazing thing though is the kids' spirits.

Jase didn't complain abt us having to rush down to Emergency. And that seemed to have influenced Charmaine's mood as well. As soon as I regained my composure and assured her that we are not in Singapore and that we have a chance of not being admitted, she calmed herself down too.

Right now, as we are waiting for her blood test results to come back, Jase is happily playing the Nintendo while Charmaine is looking on. That's THE REASON I'm breathing slightly normally, while still anxious.

Charmaine had a really long day today.
She woke up in severe pain this morning at abt 6am, crying terribly and complaining that she couldn't move her right leg... Such a dreadful and awfully familiar scene to me but still, I panicked and I froze. Checked her knee and darnit, it was doubled yesterday swelling!

Jumped off bed and gave her coedeine and her antibiotics (which doesn't even seem to work at all!!!). Checked her temp and it was 37.9! My heart sank. It is a temperature that brings out the most fear in any oncology mommy. I quickly sponged her, told her to drink lots of water and prayed fervently that the darn temp would go off!!!

The rest of the day she was just tired. She couldn't move her leg due to the excruciating pain and could only lay on the bed. It was so bad she couldn't even sit up. A few times, she wanted me to carry her to the window to just look at the BBQ party out at the terrace but the pain was too much to bear, she reluctantly said she couldn't do it. It is days like these that makes me appreciate my legs and the ability to simply walk. Whenever Charmaine can't move or walk, it just makes her extremely depressed. Today, she seemed to just totally resigned to the fact that she should be in complete bed rest and didn't cry over being bored or wishing that she could join Jase at the playroom. Instead she just cooperated and rest quietly on bed.

I'm desperately praying that she is not neutropenic and that we can be allowed to go back to the house. And of course PLEASE let her body be good with NO infections!!!

It's gonna be a long night... Hopefully we can leave the hospital by 2am!

cyn mommy


Mama Joan said...

Hi cyn, i hope everything are under control now.... dun worry too much k? Cry if you must, becos crying is a way of relieving stress

2amYH said...

My heart sink when I see ur update. I pray that the fever n leg swelling will goes off and there is no new disease in any part of charmine's body and a plan for treatment is available to them soon. I also pray that god gives the much needed power and energy and strength to Cynthia to help her to go through this trying time and hope things Will be better as each day goes by. God bless

2amYH said...

Cynthia... Jia you, jia you! Dun ;( be ;) ;) ;). @@@ ur r a spirit n motivation for many. You know bad things is getting over n the good news will come soon. Oh god, pls pls take extra good care to this family, may good news be given to them soon. Thank you god!

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