Cycle #18 and still holding on to HOPE

We need a miracle and we need it now. So badly. Please keep those prayers coming in for us. I read somewhere that collective thoughts and energy is powerful and I have no doubts that all your prayers and thoughts have kept my little girl in the good fight continuously until now... So please keep it coming. Positive vibes!

A little update about us...
We started Cycle #2 of our new protocol last Friday with 90 min infusion Avastin and admitted Monday morning for 5 days of chemo. This is our cycle #18 and we are still fighting. If you recall, we had a rough time with our first cycle, had to deal with lots of pain, loss of sleep, nausea, vomitting and loss of appetite. As such, I am definitely wary and anxious this round. I'm praying, keeping my fingers crossed for Char to have more comfort but for the drug to work as effectively as possible in bringing her disease under control.

We had a good week last week. I am so grateful, thankful and blessed. Both Jase and Char got to cycle over the weekend and we had lots of fun! I don't know what lies in the future ahead. All I know is that it is going to be tough. The odds for a cure for my little girl is sadly little and low but I continue to hold on to whatever hope there is I can grab onto. Char, my dearest is blissfully unaware of the uphill mountain we are climbing and continues to be the ever sweet, feisty princess she has always been. She has dreams of starting Pri 1 next year, making friends and can't wait to learn, sing and dance and conquer the world! Her smiles, her never give up attitude and her abilitiy to live each day to the fullest is what that have enabled me to remain strong, and inspires me to live out each day happily, add one more day to my treasure chest and leave tomorrow's worries to tomorrow.

Our scans are scheduled for the second week of March and based on the results, I will have some huge decisions to make. My birthday wish for this year is to finally hear some positive news from the scans!!! Dear Buddha, please continue to watch over my Char and bless her with a miraculous recovery from this disease.

Finally, I like to apologise for not updating as often. I guess writing no longer has that therapuetic effect on me and instead, it just reminds me of my tears. As the saying goes, no news is good news with us. Our good news is simple, just a day waking up to sunshine, minimal pain and discomfort, and going about the daily routine of eat, sleep and be boring! Each day that we spend being together, doing nothing, complaining and whining is each additional day of gratitude and great bliss for me! I wake up everyday repaying thanks for yesterday and praying for another yesterday today.

Last but not least, please keep all those much needed prayers coming in. They must be working for us to be enjoying so many days of joy and bliss at home. But we need more for our miracle to work! For our chemo drugs and Avastin to work effectively on killing the cancer cells, keeping them under control and for us to be able to remain on this option for as long as possible!!! For Char to have no pain and no discomfort so that she can enjoy her days like a normal 5 year old!

From the bottom of my heart, I say a thousand word of thanks. I appreciate all the comments, all our silent supporters and all your love for my family, especially for my feisty little princess.

Love,
cyn mommy