Hi all,
Cynthia and the kids have touched down safely in Singapore. Safe yes, but healthy no.
The kids developed high fever on board the plane which lasted the whole 12hours. It was fortunate that the SQ staff was there for them or Cynthia would not have been able to handle it all alone.
Cyn mommy is also developing symptoms. Before flight, she was already very sick vomiting and all. Charmaine is currently admitted to KK and Jase is at home resting from his high fever.
Love,
Jolene
The trio are back
Cyn SMS
"WE had the most horrendous 12hours in flight. Both tots developed high fever for almost the whole flight! Jase vommitted thrice! Thanks to the SQ folks else would not have survived. Had to sponge them until we land! Now Jase is home still with fever,. Char is admitted to KK. I'm having symptoms too.
Exhausted and tired.
"
Love, Char
"WE had the most horrendous 12hours in flight. Both tots developed high fever for almost the whole flight! Jase vommitted thrice! Thanks to the SQ folks else would not have survived. Had to sponge them until we land! Now Jase is home still with fever,. Char is admitted to KK. I'm having symptoms too.
Exhausted and tired.
"
Love, Char
Charmaine has relapsed.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Words cannot express what I am going through right now.
We were packing getting ready to leave on 30th Jan, the day our VISA expires.
Now I have to decide my next move in the next 24 hours.
Just HOW MUCH MORE TOUGHER can life get? Just HOW MUCH MORE DO I HAVE TO SUFFER?
WHEN WHEN WHEN will anything ever be normal in my life again? All I am asking for is NORMAL! Is it too much for me to ask for?
I just want to go to work like everyone else. I just want to fret about the stressful life in Singapore. I just want to stress over my kids' education and I just want to complain that money is never enough. BUT WHY WHY is it so difficult? WHY CANT I be like any other 30 year old woman, worrying about my wrinkles and cellulite? WHY CANT I just grow old and worry about the normal stuff? WHY?
Are 'YOU' intent and determined to make every february the worst month in my LIFE? I was going to spend CNY like any other family rejoicing about the beauty of life? WHY THIS? WHY?
WHY DO I HAVE to have such a tough life? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE MY INNOCENT GIRL SUFFER like this?!?!?!?!?!?! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT. NONE AT ALL, YOU SICK MONSTER. I HATE YOU SO MUCH. WHY CANT YOU JUST GET OUT of our LIVES FOREVER?!?!?!?!?!?!
GET OUT. STAY AWAY!
I WILL NOT GIVE UP! NEVER! Dont you ever dare to sneak up on us like this ever again! DO YOU HEAR ME? JUST STAY AWAY. PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Cyn
We were packing getting ready to leave on 30th Jan, the day our VISA expires.
Now I have to decide my next move in the next 24 hours.
Just HOW MUCH MORE TOUGHER can life get? Just HOW MUCH MORE DO I HAVE TO SUFFER?
WHEN WHEN WHEN will anything ever be normal in my life again? All I am asking for is NORMAL! Is it too much for me to ask for?
I just want to go to work like everyone else. I just want to fret about the stressful life in Singapore. I just want to stress over my kids' education and I just want to complain that money is never enough. BUT WHY WHY is it so difficult? WHY CANT I be like any other 30 year old woman, worrying about my wrinkles and cellulite? WHY CANT I just grow old and worry about the normal stuff? WHY?
Are 'YOU' intent and determined to make every february the worst month in my LIFE? I was going to spend CNY like any other family rejoicing about the beauty of life? WHY THIS? WHY?
WHY DO I HAVE to have such a tough life? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE MY INNOCENT GIRL SUFFER like this?!?!?!?!?!?! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT. NONE AT ALL, YOU SICK MONSTER. I HATE YOU SO MUCH. WHY CANT YOU JUST GET OUT of our LIVES FOREVER?!?!?!?!?!?!
GET OUT. STAY AWAY!
I WILL NOT GIVE UP! NEVER! Dont you ever dare to sneak up on us like this ever again! DO YOU HEAR ME? JUST STAY AWAY. PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Cyn
Why are my hands trembling so bad...
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Charmaine did her MRI of the brain on tuesday and MIBG scan yesterday. Its now 930 hrs on thursday morning and she is supposed to be doing her last scans - CT of the chest, abdominal and pelvis.
Dr Kushner just called me on my phone. I've never ever recevied a phone call from him directly. And I heard what I didnt wanted to hear... I had a bad premonition last night and I dont know why. I hate my brain, I do.
He said that they need a bone marrow on her after the CT. I asked him, "Did something turn up wrong yesterday?" He said, "something showed up on her MIBG".
Damnit. I dont know what else to say. I cant continue...
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray for Charmaine! PLEASE. I NEED to CROSS the one year mark FREE of that horrible monster. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE... Please let yesterday's results be a mistake. Please let her bone marrow be clear. Please let her CT be clear. Please let everything be good. Oh god, HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME NOW!?!?!
Dr Kushner just called me on my phone. I've never ever recevied a phone call from him directly. And I heard what I didnt wanted to hear... I had a bad premonition last night and I dont know why. I hate my brain, I do.
He said that they need a bone marrow on her after the CT. I asked him, "Did something turn up wrong yesterday?" He said, "something showed up on her MIBG".
Damnit. I dont know what else to say. I cant continue...
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray for Charmaine! PLEASE. I NEED to CROSS the one year mark FREE of that horrible monster. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE... Please let yesterday's results be a mistake. Please let her bone marrow be clear. Please let her CT be clear. Please let everything be good. Oh god, HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME NOW!?!?!
Scanxiety Week again
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Hi everyone,
Just a really short and quick update! Its scans week this week. MRI head, MIBG and CT scan for the next three days.
The kids are excited about going home and I am frantically, yet happily packing!
Charmaine has quite bad nose bleeding this time around with Accutane. Rushed to hospital last friday because the nose bled for more than 20mins and wouldnt stop.
Today, we had another bout of nose bleed but it wasnt as horrifying as last friday.
I am very concerned about her nose during the flight back because the air up there would be even drier. Spoke to doctor but they said they cannot do anything except to apply pressure to nose if it happens. Oh well, why am I not surprised.
Anyway, still tons to be done so I cant write much. I will update everyone of her scan results once I get them. Have explicitly told the doctor and NPs that I NEED to know ALL her RESULTS before I board my plane! And I will of course 'pester' them if I have to, just to know her results. Else I will never leave with a peace of mind!
Love,
Cyn mommy
Just a really short and quick update! Its scans week this week. MRI head, MIBG and CT scan for the next three days.
The kids are excited about going home and I am frantically, yet happily packing!
Charmaine has quite bad nose bleeding this time around with Accutane. Rushed to hospital last friday because the nose bled for more than 20mins and wouldnt stop.
Today, we had another bout of nose bleed but it wasnt as horrifying as last friday.
I am very concerned about her nose during the flight back because the air up there would be even drier. Spoke to doctor but they said they cannot do anything except to apply pressure to nose if it happens. Oh well, why am I not surprised.
Anyway, still tons to be done so I cant write much. I will update everyone of her scan results once I get them. Have explicitly told the doctor and NPs that I NEED to know ALL her RESULTS before I board my plane! And I will of course 'pester' them if I have to, just to know her results. Else I will never leave with a peace of mind!
Love,
Cyn mommy
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