A letter addressed to Miracle!

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Today, the tumor grew again... I don't even have to touch to feel it now. It's visible by sight...

Dear God, if the lesson I have to learn here is to 'accept and be at peace', does it mean that once I accept cancer in my life, you will let my baby live? Isn't that what I'm already doing now? I am really more than happy to give up everything and to live with anxiety and fear with NB for every single day of my life. Just let my baby live please.

I won't even complain about anything... I won't hate it, I won't kill it either... Can't we co exist in a peaceful manner?

Both Char's legs are already curved and she can never walk like a normal child, but it's okay. I am still feeling blessed that she has both her legs and she can still move around on her own. Even if it's a limp, I am still contented and deeply grateful.

Her spine is also curved. Needless to say, scolioces is also part of her life. I promise I won't complain and I will try not to cry... I confess that I've been burying myself with grief over her difficult future but I realise that I am being the world's biggest fool.

No matter how challenging the road ahead will be, I will be more than happy to walk it with my girl every single step of the way. We will find joy in everything and we will treasure every single moment. If it's not too much to ask for, whatever plans you may have for Charmaine, can I borrow her for a lifetime? Just one lifetime for her to grow up, to share her miracle with the world and to return the favour to the world who has helped us tremendously.

Please guide me towards the right path so that I can bring Charmaine back to stability. All that I ask for is stability. The NB cells are more than welcome to remain in her body as long as they remember to let her live. Medication for life, a much more different path compared to others are everything that I am willing to live with. We don't even need a normal life like others. It don't matter to me if I have to work doubly hard, or even indefinitely harder. I am happy to do just that! Just as long as you allow Charmaine to live.

Please give me a chance to save my own child. I am literally at wits end now. I prayed. I cried. I begged. Nothing seems to work. Please help me.

Dear God, Buddha and all the mighty ones, heal my char. Please.



a said...

Hi dear Cyn,

I have heard of many getting healed by Daddy God after they've had a fresh revelation of how much God loves you and Char.

I strongly encourage you to get a copy of Pastor Joseph Prince's Holy Communion DVD, & learn about the power of Holy Communion on healing :)

I am not sure if you are Christian, but Jesus has done so much for me, & I am sure He is willing and able for you too.

Praying for a fresh touch of healing for Char as you partake of the Holy Communion tgt with Char:)

Be blessed

J.H said...

Cyn, do you think you might want to see Dr. Sholler in Vermont? I heard she had this miracle boy named Will Lacey, who is declared uncurable after 2 time relapse from NB years ago. However, her theraphy kept him survive till date - even with NB in his body - which is stable at each scan. He'd been through 76 chemo cycle til today. You can contact his dad at http://www.willlacey.com/
I will remember you and Char in my prayer. My heart goes to you!

stacey said...

The wise says don’t wait until you can suffer no more, only then do you allow yourself the peace and joy you are supposed to have. Everyone gets to choose. Start by taking time each day to be thankful and grateful. Most of us are taught to believe in shortage, to see the negativity and what is wrong. Illness is very much a spiritual path. There is more in life than worries and problems. If there’s a will, there is a way. I believed your prayers are answered, you may not notice them because they didn't come in the expected form. "I have noticed that people are dealing too much with the negative. Why not try the other way, to look into the patient and see positive things, to just touch those things and make them bloom?" — Thich Nhat Hanh

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