Backdated: Thursday, 19th February 2009

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Extracted & edited from my personal blog…

Charmaine had her biopsy op this morning. It was a 4-hour procedure.

Besides the biopsy, cyn informed me that an "equipment" was inserted/hooked around the heart to "release chemotherapy stuff" to see if her "cells are receptive" to it.

The equipment is a kinda "port" to draw blood from. Subsequent chemotherapy would be input to the body via this port too.

The double quotation marks ["...."] are added as I'm explaining it in layman's term and that my explanation could be inaccurate.

Charmaine has been transferred to the children's cancer ward after the op. None of us like it there. The nurses are quite strict and unfriendly. We can perfectly understand them for being strict as the environment is definitely different. However, being rude and unfriendly is another matter.

Number of visitors is definitely restricted too.

When kh and I arrived, char was cradled in cyn's maid's arm sleeping. Cyn's maid informed us that cyn had just gone to take a shower. ONE thing to be thankful for is good maid who has been with char since she was a baby. I can see that she really loves her a lot.

Char's hair was drenched with perspiration despite the air-conditioning. She was clearly in great pain! Her mouth was opened and she had to breathe with the aid of an oxygen mask which was held near her nose and mouth by cyn's maid. They were doing that the whole time after the op. Her stomach and other organs had to be pushed slightly upwards during the op which are pressing upwards onto her diaphragm resulting in her difficulty in breathing.

There were many tubes on her wrists and toe linked to various machines which showed readings I didn't quite understand. Fortunately, cyn understood what the readings meant and this she found out with the help of another friend. The nurses simply asked her not to bother and were often chiding her. With her new-found knowledge, she could easily monitor char's breathing, pressure etc.

Cyn told me that when char woke up after the op, she was in such great pain. Cyn assured her that she was gonna be alright and the feisty little char said "ok". She's such a darling.

They also tried breathing together naturally w/o the oxygen mask to try to reach 100 on the screen. However, after a few minutes, char complained of giddiness. So poor thing.

Cyn also promised char that she would not to cry anymore and she was doing quite well till she spoke to me about the latest updates on char's condition. Since cyn promised char not to cry, I must also be strong and not let my tears flow.

Char's emotions has been greatly affected from all the pain and turmoil. She knows that she is different now and as a young child, she is unable to understand why this is happening. She is unable to express herself clearly. She is unable to control her temper and is highly irritable. She does not like many visitors and would often throw her temper when she sees new faces.

She woke up halfway and I didn't even dare to go near her for fear of aggravating her. She was aware that I was around as she was eyeing me with great pain and irritation as I smiled and waved to her at a distance. Jase went up to tell her "I love you" and she screamed with irritation.

Why does a young child have to go through all these?

Cyn's frenz and bro did a lot of research and from all the results so far, we suspect that Char is suffering from neuroblastoma. This is worse than primary liver cancer. With tumour found outside the liver on lymph nodes and nerves with traces of cancer in her bone marrow, we braced ourselves that char could possibly be in the 3rd or 4th stage.

Next Monday would be the day when the doctor would sit down and have a talk to cyn about all the reports and results. We really have to brace ourselves for the worst possible outcome and yet at the same time hope that we are so damn wrong.

Meanwhile, we're also looking into natural healing for cancer with a change in diet. So far research on this have been quite positive.


nic. from melbourne said...

my heart goes out to a very adorable little charmaine... i'm absolutely overwhelmed with emotions from reading till this point. possibly also triggered from losing a very close and special person to cervical cancer 5 years back.

her innocence and positivity is so inspiring, and her tantrums just a clear display of her pain, agony and frustration from everything that's going on.

i once read a medical article on Time magazine about speaking to the body and its parts and the importance of being one with your body, as in not letting yourself feel disconnected from it, which alot of people do because of the pain and trauma of the medical treatments and procedures.

GOD bless all you people and most importantly little char and her heart.

Jolene said...

My emotions too are stirring as I am reading this. I can feel your grief.

About the medical article, I do belive that cells can respond to positive belief which emits good vibrations. We have witnessed that with an orange experiment. One orange having received all the bad remarks and scolding while the other receiving all the positive words. The "bad" orange rot very quickly while the "good" one remained the same.

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