Hey everyone,
We were discharged on Boxing Day afternoon and is now home recovering.
Charmaine had a meltdown on Sunday night after discharge which got me really down as well.
She suddenly starting crying: " I want my hair, I want to be normal
like you and everyone in the family. I want to gonto school, run and hop like kor kor, have many friends..."
I tried my very best to tell her that everything will be good, she will be able to go to school and have many friends... Like everyone else... However, I found myself choking with tears. I couldn't lie but I couldn't tell her that she can never, run or hop like any other kid, not to mention walking.
As she gets older everyday, she becomes more aware of her condition and her differences... I try my best to over compensate for everything that she is missing out every single day of her life. Even all my friends. Everyone of you.
I guess there will always be days when it's harder to focus on what we have rather than what we are lacking. As I look around me, the many toddlers playing and running around, even the scenes of a family walking simply on the streets can make me tear up. All I want is something simple and yet it just gets further from me. I honestly can't imagine how much more depressing it is for her...
Nevertheless, we continue to hope, to pray and keep the faith. We continue to pick ourselves up after the numerous meltdowns, after the numerous episodes of crying. Because the only way we know is forward.
Love,
cyn mommy
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My then 6 year-old son once told me it was better not to live than to live in pain after experiencing chemo treatment for about a year. I told him heaven was a great place for kids because no kids needed any toy to keep them happy there. He said, "Oh, I don't want to go there. It's not a fun place." I told him it was possible for him to walk again, it was possible to get all his hair back, it was possible for him to be completely well and live a normal life. There is great power in words. He was hanging on my words for his survival. He put his faith in me, and I learnt to put faith in my words. We focus on implementing wellness into our lifestyles, and ignore those that served no good purpose in healing. It was not always a smooth sailing, but we managed to overcome challenges along the way.
Lil' Charmaine, Jia You!! M sure your wish will come true real quick becos God so loved you and He heard your cries and He will heal you... Jia you ok, lil warrior! I know its not easy and in fact, very very rough and difficult.... And yes, it is unfair but when you crossed this hurdle, nothing else in life will ever ever defeat you again.. Press on Charmaine and be brave and be happy becos you got a mummy and kor kor who loves you very very much and they will be with you to walk thru this difficult route. Jia You!!
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