A Sweet 16 letter

~ Extracted from an email whom Princess Char has touched her life with~

Hello Cynthia Mommy,

I've always held you in great honour and respect for being able to be so strong in the midst of your circumstances. Having to look after two young kids by yourself is certainly not an easy job, more so that you have to frequent the hospital with Charmaine and Jase. I think it is only natural that at some point you come to a stage that you're at your wits end and you can't help but feel very emotional, sad, worried, stressed. It must have been even harder on you that Char and Jase are so little and they are unable to fully understand what ever that's happening. Still, you have to be their pillar of strength and the cement that hold the tiles of your little family together.

What I can say is that, your efforts and perseverance thus far really is not in vain. Though at times you really do get frustrated, tired and just want to scream out loud, I'm sure that Char and Jase just cannot be more thankful to have such a super mommy like you! At their young age, I'm sure they don't outrightly say "thanks mom for looking after us and going through so much" but you know in their heart, that's how they feel. Furthermore, I'm sure as they grow older, they will really be more and more grateful for what you've done for them.

And I must say, your relentless spirit to keep fighting this illness with Char and of course her own fighting spirit to take on 3F8 and all that comes her way, it has been a great motivation and encouragement for many out there including myself.

Well, I'm a 16 year old and your love for your kiddos really made me rather envious really. And sometimes I can't help but feel that my life is also a little less than complete. But each time I read about how char fights on and how you keep handling everything on your own, it gives me me this determination to press on for things that go on in my life. Well I'm currently in the midst of the O levels and I really do have this feeling that I will screw it up. To make matters worse, my parents are very devaluing and they really believe that I wont' make it in life. In particular my father who is very judgmental and critical. So each time I see how much you love your kids, I can't help but feel loved on their behalf. Well, I guess every family has their own set of problems. Similar to Char having to battle this illness, my father battles schizophrenia which explains his character. He constantly has to get those voices out of his head and will shout at me for no reason thining he is communicating with those voices in his head. Its very scary and it causes me a lot of emotional hurt as well. Just like Char and Jase, I personally think that I too, lack the maturity to understand everything that's going around me but I just know I have to go through them somehow although sometimes I question why am I the victim of his illness. Sometimes it pains me to see my mom having to handle my father too and I can tell its causing friction to their marriage. It has been so long, I wonder when there will be a stop to this.

However, after reading your entries on the blog. I really drew so much strength from there and my purpose of this letter is not to tell you my problems or unintentionally burden you further but to really tell you how much you've made a difference in my life although you don't know me in person. You're a really strong mommy and many kids would be proud to call you "Mom". So keep pressing on all right! I believe that everything happens for a reason. Char being HAMA positive, does not mean its the end of the world. Though its tough on you, having to accept this truth and being held in "scanxiety" as how you termed it, I'm sure you being as strong as you normally are, would be able to pull through this difficult time. I'll always remember the quote you've left on the blog. "life is a climb but the view is great on top" so keep climbing!! Also, hang on to every little thing you can give thanks for, breathing is a miracle on itself. We never know what tmr holds. We may just never wake up again.

Whether you're a Christian or not, I'm not sure. But I do hope this verse brings some encouragement to you.

"Then David continued, 'Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don't be afraid or discouraged by the size of the task, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. He will see to it that all the work related to the Temple of the Lord will be brought to completion' " -1 Chronicles 28:20

Do pardon me if some stuff I have said has been rude or insensitive in anyway. i really don't mean it. I just felt a strong inclination to write you a note of encouragement and those words are really from the bottom of my heart. =)

Press on Cynthia Mommy for the challenges ahead just as you have indirectly really encouraged me to press on in life too through your love and commitment to Char and Jase.

Thanks and May God Bless You:D

With Much Love,
(Omitted)

Love, Char