Day 4

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Hi everyone,

I hope everyone is doing well.
Another update from the hospital.
Char's temp spiked above 38 degrees yesterday and experienced the same left shin pain in the wee hours of yesterday. Hence blood culture was done and she was started on 2 antibiotics. One of which is oral cipro, the drug used on puppies that showed abnormal bone growth. No studies has been done on human but I'm forewarned.

Life in the oncology world consists of one after another hurdle. And the most terrifying part of this journey is that it's a lifelong challenge. You never know if you created another harm in your body while trying to treat the cancer but yet you are left with absolute no choice. It makes me think, it makes me confused and it makes me feel lost. I feel like I am mentally dead half the time literally because the decisions I'm forced to make, goes against some of my beliefs. My only guiding beckon that has remained the same throughout my life is "Life is precious and wonderful". Despite my faith and belief, I have to admit it gets tougher not to be shaken with each passing day.

Nonetheless, isn't life full of ups and downs for everyone! I'm grateful that my guiding beckon has kept me walking in the right direction and I will have to continue to remind myself to focus on nothing beats being alive! Because as long ad we are alive, there's always a chance for anything.

With Char's spike in temperature yesterday, we are not allowed to be discharged today. Chemo today was very nearly postponed as well. However, thankfully I shared a mutual understanding with Dr Aung and chemo was allowed to proceed as planned! You have no idea how much I really hate to disrupt the protocol because I'm so terrified of how the disruption will affect the end result! So the good news is we have finally completed our 2 cycles of chemo and Charmaine will have a scan repeated in 2 weeks on both her legs to determine our course of action moving forward. These 2 cycles were supposed to be less scary than the previous 5 cycles but it turned out to be Char's most sensitive and my most worrisome ones...

Now that chemo is done, I'm praying that her fever will subside totally today and please also pray that she doesn't have any infections! All I can do now is to wait for her counts to drop and for us to climb up to her normal happy 4 year old with pink rosy cheeks.

Cyn mommy


stacey said...

Every experience is about lesson to be learned. Some lessons are harder and we may ask why. I pray one day, you will be able to understand them. It does not matter how you want to label them, you will still find your well-being in many ways. That is God's promise to all His children.

Yann said...

cynthia, hang on there.


phoenixbabe said...

Dearest cyn, I will be praying! All things are possible with Christ! Hugs to u, char& Jase..

Mama Joan said...

Hi cyn, is everything alright?

Ariel said...

Char's Mummy, Char has already hung on for so long! She will continue to be strong and continue to fight, so you must be strong too! It has been a long fight but you cannot be too dismay! Hope and miracle awaits!

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