Updates from Cyn

Monday, February 8, 2010

Hi everyone,

I am sorry but I am not exactly in the mood to talk or write much. Nonetheless, I know many of you are waiting for updates hence I will do a quick one.

In NYC 28th Jan, Charmaine's MIBG scan showed that she had relapsed in her right knee, right thigh (basically her right femur), right pelvic and also her lower spine. And I thought that was already my biggest nightmare.

But nothing has changed when it comes to bad news. It never ends at one.

Last week in Singapore, they scheduled Charmaine for a MRI to her right leg and lower back which lasted more than 2hours in KK.

The results was shocking and devastating for me.
They saw cancer cells in her left leg as well. I dont know what to say.

Charmaine didnt take the admissions well at all because its seriously not the first thing she expected straight after touching down Singapore. She was looking forward to seeing her Por Por, Gong Gong and just being back home. As such, she was rather grouchy and grumpy throughout. Her appetite isnt good as well. Frankly, I am not taking it well either. I am half assuming that her poor appetite is due to her jet lag and of course the viral infection she caught just before we left NYC. Thankfully, she is finally eating a bit more these 2 days which is a great relief to me because since the scans week in NYC, because of the fasting, she generally hasnt eaten much and has lost half a kg in 2 weeks.

Friday when I received news of the findigs in her left leg as well, it totally crushed me. And one would think that is the last straw.

Come saturday, she suddenly complained of pain in her right knee and started limping the whole day. I was shocked. Its the first time ever since Charmaine's diagnosis that I witness her suffering the direct side effects of the sick monster. It seemed to have gotten much worse in a span of days and by Sunday, she just refused to walk. I had to carry her everywhere, from room to room, or even just to the toilet. It worries me greatly and I just couldnt wait for her Chemotherapy to start soon enough. I am banking all my hopes on the chemo and radiation to kill all the cells and alleviate her of the pain totally. Its an irony but what else can I depend on...

We were supposed to start chemo today but KK is full and can only start Charmaine on Tues. I cannot even begin to imagine how many parents and families are going through the same pain and turmoil we are going through. I wish for no one to even live with hospital visits as part of their daily normal life. Kids should be what they do best - being kids.

I managed to sort out the logistics and found Jase a school while Charmaine is receiving treatment. Thankfully, Jase is happy and looking forward to it. However, Charmaine is very depressed about not being able to attend school like her brother. She beg and pleaded with me yesterday after all the sobbing, saying: "Please, may I just go for one day with Kor Kor to school? Please, please please?". My heart aches seeing how much she yearns to go to school like any other normal kid but something so simple and yet I cannot provide...

Charmaine will be admiting tomorrow for a 4 days high dose Chemo ending on Friday, just in time for CNY back home with family. Chinese New Year has always been my favourite festive holiday, like Christmas and I treasure it alot. I hope that we will at least get to spend CNY at home safely without any hiccups.

This cycle is going to be pretty much like the first cycle she had, with zero immunity and low counts. Dear God, please watch over my little girl Charmaine and bless us with a smooth sailing chemotherapy with no infections. Please God, I NEED YOUR HELP.

Once again, I am pleading for your prayers to help us tide over this challenge safely. Thank you everyone. THANK YOU.



Lee Su-Lyn said...

i will keep charmaine in my prayers, everyday.

stay strong !!

The Second Hippie said...

it upsets me greatly to see you going through all this. It's not easy; the worries, the stress, the fear.

God, please grant Cynthia her prayers, please give her courage and strength and may Charmaine be well and healthy again. Forever.

God please be with her in this tough times. In Jesus's name, Amen.

MrsTeng said...

Matthew 8:7 (New International Version)
Jesus said to him, "I will go and heal him."
I will keep praying for Charmaine!

Anonymous said...

It pains me greatly to learn of Charmaine's latest condition and I am sure the pain that you are feeling right now is 100 and if not 1000 times more than I do.

I will continue to hold all of you in prayers...Stay strong

Anthony said...

Dear Cynthia

We are sadden to read your story.If there's anyway in which we could help, financial and otherwise, do email us

Susan said...

I'm so sorry. Nothing else I can say, just so sorry. I will keep Charmaine, you and Jase in my prayers.

kittymin said...

"God will make a way, where there seems to be no way. He works in ways we cannot see, he will make a way"

An annoynomous reader of yours. Press on!

Just wondering... are you going back to US anymore?

Soh Hong Wei said...

Jia you!

phoenixbabe said...

I will b praying too !

Mama Joan said...

Dear Lord, please grant this lil' wish of Charmaine n her family. Please let your healing powers be upon Charmaine. May you give grant Cyn the extra strength and courage during these tough times and let your miracle be upon Charmaine, heal her completely, Lord. In jesus name i pray, Amen!

madster said...

Reading this post made me sad, but I am also encouraged with your strength to go through the hurdles.

I will keep Charmaine and your family in prayer

Aaron said...

I'm sure many people who have been following this blog as closely as I have will be just as devastated as I am after reading the recent update.

My 3 year old girl had been admitted to KK on Sunday with stomach flu as she was throwing up everything that she was eating. She was so dehydrated that they had to put her on intravenous drip. The sight of her so lethargic and so unlike her usual bubbly self pains me and my wife tremendously. I can't begin to say we feel the same degree of pain as you but what you are going through must be a hundred or thousand times more than what we are experiencing.

Charmaine hasn't given up her fight with the monster and to achieve her goal of returning her life to nomalcy yet. So hang on there Cyn, as long as none of you give up, the monster hasn't won the fight.

kailin said...

Cyn, hang on there! princess char is fighting hard against the idiotic monster, u & e family is her pillion of living SO YOU MUST TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF!!!
Char is in my prayer and I hope more ppl can pray hard for char, just a little time taking~

Maggie said...

I jst read about this. Be strong! We will keep U in our prayers

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