Feisty Team Updates "You have reached a limit for sending mail"
with all the support and help from everyone, the feisty team is currently held up by quite a number of activities. Emails, be it responding to account numbers (that can be found here), or to acknowledge payment, will be very slow.
I just received this:
"
Sending limits
Print
In an effort to fight spam and prevent abuse, Google will temporarily disable your account if you send a message to more than 500 recipients or if you send a large number of undeliverable messages. If you use a POP or IMAP client (Microsoft Outlook or Apple Mail, e.g.), you may only send a message to 100 people at a time. Your account should be re-enabled within 24 hours.
If you communicate with the same group of people on a regular basis, you might be interested in Google Groups.
If you send a large number of undeliverable messages, we suggest verifying your contacts' email addresses. It's also important that everyone you are sending mail to is willing to receive it. "
So, nights out everyone.
=(
For those who wants to email for more information, please check on this blog as the information are all on here. =)
Love, Charlene
--edited to add--
I am using webmail to reply.
So wil clear off the 1000+Emails as much as i can.
I just received this:
"
Sending limits
In an effort to fight spam and prevent abuse, Google will temporarily disable your account if you send a message to more than 500 recipients or if you send a large number of undeliverable messages. If you use a POP or IMAP client (Microsoft Outlook or Apple Mail, e.g.), you may only send a message to 100 people at a time. Your account should be re-enabled within 24 hours.
If you communicate with the same group of people on a regular basis, you might be interested in Google Groups.
If you send a large number of undeliverable messages, we suggest verifying your contacts' email addresses. It's also important that everyone you are sending mail to is willing to receive it. "
So, nights out everyone.
=(
For those who wants to email for more information, please check on this blog as the information are all on here. =)
Love, Charlene
--edited to add--
I am using webmail to reply.
So wil clear off the 1000+Emails as much as i can.
While the match is on....
A big thank you to Rafi Ali School, our heroes who took time and efforts off, be it flying in from overseas, or from their daily lives, and our celebrity team, and the guest-of-honors. It touches our heart to see that fellow Singaporeans are all helping one another even in this tough period. Of course, how can we forget the donors, the supporters, and those who took time off to fund raise for us? There are also some photography shoots that took place this weekend too!
In my current state of mind, it is better not to type so much and let the photos do the talking.
After the loud cries from Charmaine, they spent their time watching cartoon, eating, while waiting for Mommy Cynthia. Charmaine refuses to let Cynthia leave her while Jase being the big brother said, "Mommy, it is raining already. I think you better dont go out la"
Finally after a longggg wait, Jase asked if he could call his mom. Earlier, i told him not to call Cynthia as she would be very busy in the match too. He remembered it all, I guess.
"Charlene jiejie, the sky very dark already. Why Mommy not back yet? Can I call her?"
Once given the approval, he dashed to the phone and started chatting with Cynthia. They knew she was just downstairs, they rushed to the lift and waited there for her. Kids are always kids. They decided to play hide-and-seek with Cyn =)
Mommy Cyn's eyes were still red with tears, and showed us the cards that the crowd and RASS has prepared. Here's the photos:
The huge Card and, even larger envelope that Jase starts to play around with.
Finally a decent one.....
Thank you all!!!!
Officially, we have about 330K
Unofficially, with the amount that are still with our fund-raisers, and together with RafiAli's effort, we should be looking at an amount, not far from 420K!!!!!
When we first receive the budget from MSKCC, our hearts all sank, wondering where to get this amount to save this girl, that meant everything to Cynthia. One month ago, we were still pretty much, STUCK. Although we have not reached our goals, we are more prepared to negotiate one more time with MSKCC to see if they allow us to move in, to confirm in treating Charmaine.
Thank you for helping us, to remove this financial burden on Cynthia. Although 500K is just the payment for the treatment, and everything more will add up, we never would have guessed, what the last 30days have been for us.
---
*Edited to add at 9:35am*
Oh yes! after reading the comments,how can i possibly forget the foreigners? Be it they are residing in Singapore, or they come from Canada, UK, US, Australia, China, and India...(hope I dint miss out any!)
Thank you so so much in helping our Princess Char =D
Take care everyone with your health ya?
Back to work...
Love you all!
Charlene
In my current state of mind, it is better not to type so much and let the photos do the talking.
After the loud cries from Charmaine, they spent their time watching cartoon, eating, while waiting for Mommy Cynthia. Charmaine refuses to let Cynthia leave her while Jase being the big brother said, "Mommy, it is raining already. I think you better dont go out la"
Finally after a longggg wait, Jase asked if he could call his mom. Earlier, i told him not to call Cynthia as she would be very busy in the match too. He remembered it all, I guess.
"Charlene jiejie, the sky very dark already. Why Mommy not back yet? Can I call her?"
Once given the approval, he dashed to the phone and started chatting with Cynthia. They knew she was just downstairs, they rushed to the lift and waited there for her. Kids are always kids. They decided to play hide-and-seek with Cyn =)
Mommy Cyn's eyes were still red with tears, and showed us the cards that the crowd and RASS has prepared. Here's the photos:
The huge Card and, even larger envelope that Jase starts to play around with.
Finally a decent one.....
Thank you all!!!!
Officially, we have about 330K
Unofficially, with the amount that are still with our fund-raisers, and together with RafiAli's effort, we should be looking at an amount, not far from 420K!!!!!
When we first receive the budget from MSKCC, our hearts all sank, wondering where to get this amount to save this girl, that meant everything to Cynthia. One month ago, we were still pretty much, STUCK. Although we have not reached our goals, we are more prepared to negotiate one more time with MSKCC to see if they allow us to move in, to confirm in treating Charmaine.
Thank you for helping us, to remove this financial burden on Cynthia. Although 500K is just the payment for the treatment, and everything more will add up, we never would have guessed, what the last 30days have been for us.
---
*Edited to add at 9:35am*
Oh yes! after reading the comments,how can i possibly forget the foreigners? Be it they are residing in Singapore, or they come from Canada, UK, US, Australia, China, and India...(hope I dint miss out any!)
Thank you so so much in helping our Princess Char =D
Take care everyone with your health ya?
Back to work...
Love you all!
Charlene
What's next?
Saturday, June 27, 2009
“Hey, sorry. I’m feeling a little off now. Cant describe exactly in words, just down… Tired, don’t know what to think. For those asking, ‘what’s next’, I wish I have an answer. Am only meeting Dr Aung on tues, will discuss than. But I expect not to have a fixed answer either. Many possibilities. The current plan is to finish up the 5th chemo soon, and do another bone marrow biopsy to check. The rest is unknown but new york is still part of the plan.
I’m hoping against hope that the 5th chemo will clear char’s body of everything monstrous, and that she need not be poisoned further more. The bone marrow is always the hardest to clear and the biggest challenge in the whole treatment. Once again, when things seem to look like its beginning to change for the better, I’m pushed down the abyss… Its painful and I have to start the climb all over again… Tired and battered.”
-Cyn sms at 1556
I’m hoping against hope that the 5th chemo will clear char’s body of everything monstrous, and that she need not be poisoned further more. The bone marrow is always the hardest to clear and the biggest challenge in the whole treatment. Once again, when things seem to look like its beginning to change for the better, I’m pushed down the abyss… Its painful and I have to start the climb all over again… Tired and battered.”
-Cyn sms at 1556
A BIG THANK YOU to everyone!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, June 26, 2009
Sneaking in for a quick post...
We are at $300K mark now!!!
Thank you everyone!!!!!
See you all on Sunday Soccer Match!
A special thanks to :
- Rafi Ali Soccer School to arrange such an event for us! Of course, the sponsors for the event too! We might (cross our fingers) bring Charmaine along too, so please please remember to bring in more Cash to donate! Rafi Ali School knows Princess Char favourite colour is Pink, so these boxes will all be coloured in bright pink! They must have had great sponsors backing them up because I heard that any amount donated, you will be given a spa voucher too!
- Radio 100.3FM esp Kenneth and team for the money fundraised, for the torture the kids given to you all yesterday,
- Various forums, medias (you know who u are ;) ),
- The fundraising activities listed at the right-hand panel
For all who have landed on this page, who have donated in cash, in kind, in thoughts, in prayers, in accommodation, in food, and who have conveniently forgotten that I should be working, thank you everyone!!!!
Can never thank all of you enough!
(Sensing a pair of eyes behind me soon, so I shall thank till here)
We hope to have all the donations in by July 13th or 14th and have this as the best birthday present that Charmaine can ever receive.
We are all excited about Sunday! How about u?
Love, Char
--
Char is in very good condition right now. thanks for all the prayers!
I will be putting up her photos shortly.
The culprit Monster will also be put up to be shot to death!
--
Just received the news:
1548:
Dr Aung just called. They found cancer cells in her right bone marrow. Cant stop crying. :-(
Please pray....
We are at $300K mark now!!!
Thank you everyone!!!!!
See you all on Sunday Soccer Match!
A special thanks to :
- Rafi Ali Soccer School to arrange such an event for us! Of course, the sponsors for the event too! We might (cross our fingers) bring Charmaine along too, so please please remember to bring in more Cash to donate! Rafi Ali School knows Princess Char favourite colour is Pink, so these boxes will all be coloured in bright pink! They must have had great sponsors backing them up because I heard that any amount donated, you will be given a spa voucher too!
- Radio 100.3FM esp Kenneth and team for the money fundraised, for the torture the kids given to you all yesterday,
- Various forums, medias (you know who u are ;) ),
- The fundraising activities listed at the right-hand panel
For all who have landed on this page, who have donated in cash, in kind, in thoughts, in prayers, in accommodation, in food, and who have conveniently forgotten that I should be working, thank you everyone!!!!
Can never thank all of you enough!
(Sensing a pair of eyes behind me soon, so I shall thank till here)
We hope to have all the donations in by July 13th or 14th and have this as the best birthday present that Charmaine can ever receive.
We are all excited about Sunday! How about u?
Love, Char
--
Char is in very good condition right now. thanks for all the prayers!
I will be putting up her photos shortly.
The culprit Monster will also be put up to be shot to death!
--
Just received the news:
1548:
Dr Aung just called. They found cancer cells in her right bone marrow. Cant stop crying. :-(
Please pray....
Fund Raising (Baking) BROWNIES
Thursday, June 25, 2009
*Edited on 1st July*
SOLD OUT
Thanks for helping out!!!!
On behalf of Daniel, where orders can be sent to jiahui.ang@gmail.com
We're raising funds for this little girl who is suffering from Neuroblastoma.(http://ourfeistyprincess.blogspot.com/) Many may have heard about her plight, and my friends and I would like to do our little part to help them. They need $500k to send the little girl to the States for treatment, and currently they've raised $180k, slightly more than a third of what they need.
We will be selling 8" square brownies with dark chocolate frosting at $25 each. Of course we welcome any extra contributions. =D Deliveries to our office will be on Monday (29th June) and the following Monday (6th July), as we will be baking on the 2 Sundays. We're hoping to raise as much as possible for them through our little bakesale over the 2 weekends.
If you are interested to order, pls send me an email latest by the following dates
Friday ( 26 June ) for delivery on 29 Jun
Friday ( 3 Jul ) for delivery on 6 Jul
Email: jiahui.ang@gmail.com
As we have limited manpower, would appreciate if you could indicate that brownies ordered are for self collection in Sengkang.
* All proceeds from the above will go directly to the little beneficiary *
Love, Charlene
BROWNIES ORDERS CLOSED!!!
-Updated 29th June-
SOLD OUT
Thanks for helping out!!!!
On behalf of Daniel, where orders can be sent to jiahui.ang@gmail.com
We're raising funds for this little girl who is suffering from Neuroblastoma.(http://ourfeistyprincess.blogspot.com/) Many may have heard about her plight, and my friends and I would like to do our little part to help them. They need $500k to send the little girl to the States for treatment, and currently they've raised $180k, slightly more than a third of what they need.
We will be selling 8" square brownies with dark chocolate frosting at $25 each. Of course we welcome any extra contributions. =D Deliveries to our office will be on Monday (29th June) and the following Monday (6th July), as we will be baking on the 2 Sundays. We're hoping to raise as much as possible for them through our little bakesale over the 2 weekends.
If you are interested to order, pls send me an email latest by the following dates
Friday ( 26 June ) for delivery on 29 Jun
Friday ( 3 Jul ) for delivery on 6 Jul
Email: jiahui.ang@gmail.com
As we have limited manpower, would appreciate if you could indicate that brownies ordered are for self collection in Sengkang.
* All proceeds from the above will go directly to the little beneficiary *
Love, Charlene
BROWNIES ORDERS CLOSED!!!
-Updated 29th June-
Updates for Day 6 after surgery
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
0823:
Good morning =) So happy wakin gup to the great news. Char was taken off morphine yday morning and has been complaining of bouts of pain. She basically cried whole day especially when it comes to passing urine. Had difficulty as she experienced a lot of pain and urine only comes out in a few drops. Andevery 10mins, she would say she wanna pee again. they have her an anesthestic cream to numb the pee area and it helped a little. She had her first meal yday some porridge and an apple. Dr Chiu came over last nite and had a long chat with me again. Dr Chiu's daily visit is something i look forward to. In the neuroblastoma world, its very small with only a few handfuls of experts. And one has to be in this world long enough to know the harsh reality of it. His visits, the discussions we had, brings me a great deal of comfort. While he tries to give hope, he also balacnes it with the harsh reality of it. Someone came over to do some due diligence and had showed concern. Nonetheless, it brought me more distress. "How do you know Charmaine falls under the 50% thatwould survive and not the other that wont make it?" and that I should speak to someone who can give a clear picture of the reality and you have to face it. Her good intentions i am very grateful. Her doubts and concerns, I understand. But it just hurts hearing them especially one day after the operation. everyone has the right to ask me ho wsure am i that char will makethe 50% that survives. I have no answer for u andn o one will either. But it doesnt mean that just because there's a 50% that Char wont make it, and I should not try. I simply cant sit around doing nothing, watching my own baby fade away. And yes, whatever we are doing is to prolong her life. I dont know if its selfish of me to do that. But shelooks fine to me now, and I;m brought up to not give up without a fight, esp when it comes to something precious and dear. I respect differing vies on how one treats life and all tha tmy mind can think of now is just to keep my little princess alive. I just have to keep trying. I will tryuntil my last breath or my little princess's. Now is not the time to let go. I beg of you not to persuade or convince me to do so because it hurts me greatly and i already have enough of pain on hand. Please just let me hold on to whatever little hope i can find... please...
GOOD NEWS!!!!
1832: We just left kk and is on our way home. Abit of drama just before discharge, over cleaning of wounds
(I had to blog all these now! They are so cute!!!)
2000
The moment Charmaine walked into the house, Jase held her hand and they walked to a room together =) Jase is a great help when it comes to rehab Char! All she needed was to see Jase.
2008
Jase's words when he saw the monster..
" Why mnster look like that? Like 'rou' (meat in Chinese)? Monster must be green in colour! I want green colour one!"
Char's reply...
" Because I very powerful! I made it smaller mah!
Now we have a very happy and amused Cyn mommy!
----
We should conclude our Updates right now, and thanks to all followers that made this very possible!!! Your strength, your faith, your encouragement, and of cos, the practical reason to give us the hope once again, for Charmaine.
Love all!
Feisty team and our Cyn Mommy.
Good morning =) So happy wakin gup to the great news. Char was taken off morphine yday morning and has been complaining of bouts of pain. She basically cried whole day especially when it comes to passing urine. Had difficulty as she experienced a lot of pain and urine only comes out in a few drops. Andevery 10mins, she would say she wanna pee again. they have her an anesthestic cream to numb the pee area and it helped a little. She had her first meal yday some porridge and an apple. Dr Chiu came over last nite and had a long chat with me again. Dr Chiu's daily visit is something i look forward to. In the neuroblastoma world, its very small with only a few handfuls of experts. And one has to be in this world long enough to know the harsh reality of it. His visits, the discussions we had, brings me a great deal of comfort. While he tries to give hope, he also balacnes it with the harsh reality of it. Someone came over to do some due diligence and had showed concern. Nonetheless, it brought me more distress. "How do you know Charmaine falls under the 50% thatwould survive and not the other that wont make it?" and that I should speak to someone who can give a clear picture of the reality and you have to face it. Her good intentions i am very grateful. Her doubts and concerns, I understand. But it just hurts hearing them especially one day after the operation. everyone has the right to ask me ho wsure am i that char will makethe 50% that survives. I have no answer for u andn o one will either. But it doesnt mean that just because there's a 50% that Char wont make it, and I should not try. I simply cant sit around doing nothing, watching my own baby fade away. And yes, whatever we are doing is to prolong her life. I dont know if its selfish of me to do that. But shelooks fine to me now, and I;m brought up to not give up without a fight, esp when it comes to something precious and dear. I respect differing vies on how one treats life and all tha tmy mind can think of now is just to keep my little princess alive. I just have to keep trying. I will tryuntil my last breath or my little princess's. Now is not the time to let go. I beg of you not to persuade or convince me to do so because it hurts me greatly and i already have enough of pain on hand. Please just let me hold on to whatever little hope i can find... please...
GOOD NEWS!!!!
1832: We just left kk and is on our way home. Abit of drama just before discharge, over cleaning of wounds
(I had to blog all these now! They are so cute!!!)
2000
The moment Charmaine walked into the house, Jase held her hand and they walked to a room together =) Jase is a great help when it comes to rehab Char! All she needed was to see Jase.
2008
Jase's words when he saw the monster..
" Why mnster look like that? Like 'rou' (meat in Chinese)? Monster must be green in colour! I want green colour one!"
Char's reply...
" Because I very powerful! I made it smaller mah!
Now we have a very happy and amused Cyn mommy!
----
We should conclude our Updates right now, and thanks to all followers that made this very possible!!! Your strength, your faith, your encouragement, and of cos, the practical reason to give us the hope once again, for Charmaine.
Love all!
Feisty team and our Cyn Mommy.
Funds collected as of 23 June 2009
We have collected about $197K so far. Adding the amount under ledger balance, we would have about $200K. That amount doesn't include what HardwareZone has collected.
The members there have pooled together $24,557.00 as of 23 June (2253) and has hit the 10K cap for the 1-for-1 dollar donation by a mystery member.
We have not touched any of the funds yet and Charmaine's medical bills so far was settled using Cynthia's savings.
Thanx all. Let's keep it going.
We'll update on Charmaine soon.
Love,
Jolene
The members there have pooled together $24,557.00 as of 23 June (2253) and has hit the 10K cap for the 1-for-1 dollar donation by a mystery member.
We have not touched any of the funds yet and Charmaine's medical bills so far was settled using Cynthia's savings.
Thanx all. Let's keep it going.
We'll update on Charmaine soon.
Love,
Jolene
Fandi & 'Dream Team' VS celebs in bid to save cancer girl... & other fund raising activities
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Featured on The NewPaper & Lian He Wan Bao Monday, 22 June 2009
The plight of Charmaine has moved former Singapore international Rafi Ali so much that he decided to do something about it. He got his Malaysia Cup kakis back together for a charity match.
With a couple of phone calls, he rounded up former greats including the Republic's favourite footballing son Fandi Ahmad, the dazzler "V" Sundramoorthy, hearthrob Abbas Saad and the "man with six lunds", Malek Awab, for a game against the media and celebrities this Sunday at the Tampines Stadium.
The electronic TNP for this article is not out yet. Meanwhile, here are some photos from TNP and Lian He Wan Bao.
[Click to enlarge]
The TNP
When I was still in primary school, I would sit in front of the TV with my whole family to watch these matches. Fandi Ahmad... Rafi Ali... Abbas Saad... Jang Jung... Nazri Nasir... Lim Tong Hai... These are names so familiar in the past. In my opinion, the Malaysian Cup was far more interesting than any EPL match. It could also be that I'm a rather nostalgic person and so the fond memories of the past always ride over the present.
For those of you who like me, used to clap and cheer and shout "REFEREE KAYU!" while watching our Dream Team play, you may like to support their cause in helping to raise funds.
Details of the match here:
This match is happening this Sunday, 28 June. Do show your support for our dream team, celebrity team and Charmaine & feisty team.
Tickets are priced at $10 only.
[Updated: Tickets out for sale at Tampines Stadium general office at main entrance from Wed--Fri 10am--12noon and 2pm--6pm]
This event is organised by Rafi Ali, Rafi Ali Soccer School and their sponsors. All proceeds from the match would be used to pay for Charmaine's medical bills. Cynthia, Charmaine and the feisty team thank Rafi Ali, the school and their sponsors from the bottom of our hearts.
Oli Pettigrew who is playing in Team Celebrity has made a video to raise funds for Charmaine. Do take a look.
Love,
Jolene
---
Edited to add:
There are also other fund raising activities happening. You can locate them on the right hand column of this blog.
We have received a lot of emails on Photoshoots.
1) SGPhotographyClub
Date : 28/06/09 ( sunday )
Time from 10am - 6pm
Location : No 34 , Arab Street #03-02 ( Mp Studio )
2) Doggie Photoshoot
And other forms of fundraising:
3) Hardwarezone Cash Donation
$1-$1 with conditions apply. Please donate via HWZ if you are a member there. We are trying to hit the 10K cap for the $1-$1 donation.
Updated! They have hit their 10k cap on 23 June at 2253!!! $0.00 left for dollar to dollar match. WHEE!!!
4) Guitar
The blogshop community has also come forth to help to raise funds for us, as well as forums that hold online auction, buy-and-sell. Mouse over the right hand column and click those which interest you.
Please support them as much as u can!!!!
Till date, we have $180K.
Thank you everyone!!!!!!
Love, Charlene
[Edited to add latest info on 24th June, 3.22am]
The plight of Charmaine has moved former Singapore international Rafi Ali so much that he decided to do something about it. He got his Malaysia Cup kakis back together for a charity match.
With a couple of phone calls, he rounded up former greats including the Republic's favourite footballing son Fandi Ahmad, the dazzler "V" Sundramoorthy, hearthrob Abbas Saad and the "man with six lunds", Malek Awab, for a game against the media and celebrities this Sunday at the Tampines Stadium.
The electronic TNP for this article is not out yet. Meanwhile, here are some photos from TNP and Lian He Wan Bao.
[Click to enlarge]
The TNP
When I was still in primary school, I would sit in front of the TV with my whole family to watch these matches. Fandi Ahmad... Rafi Ali... Abbas Saad... Jang Jung... Nazri Nasir... Lim Tong Hai... These are names so familiar in the past. In my opinion, the Malaysian Cup was far more interesting than any EPL match. It could also be that I'm a rather nostalgic person and so the fond memories of the past always ride over the present.
For those of you who like me, used to clap and cheer and shout "REFEREE KAYU!" while watching our Dream Team play, you may like to support their cause in helping to raise funds.
Details of the match here:
This match is happening this Sunday, 28 June. Do show your support for our dream team, celebrity team and Charmaine & feisty team.
Tickets are priced at $10 only.
[Updated: Tickets out for sale at Tampines Stadium general office at main entrance from Wed--Fri 10am--12noon and 2pm--6pm]
This event is organised by Rafi Ali, Rafi Ali Soccer School and their sponsors. All proceeds from the match would be used to pay for Charmaine's medical bills. Cynthia, Charmaine and the feisty team thank Rafi Ali, the school and their sponsors from the bottom of our hearts.
Oli Pettigrew who is playing in Team Celebrity has made a video to raise funds for Charmaine. Do take a look.
Love,
Jolene
---
Edited to add:
There are also other fund raising activities happening. You can locate them on the right hand column of this blog.
We have received a lot of emails on Photoshoots.
1) SGPhotographyClub
Date : 28/06/09 ( sunday )
Time from 10am - 6pm
Location : No 34 , Arab Street #03-02 ( Mp Studio )
2) Doggie Photoshoot
And other forms of fundraising:
3) Hardwarezone Cash Donation
$1-$1 with conditions apply. Please donate via HWZ if you are a member there. We are trying to hit the 10K cap for the $1-$1 donation.
Updated! They have hit their 10k cap on 23 June at 2253!!! $0.00 left for dollar to dollar match. WHEE!!!
4) Guitar
The blogshop community has also come forth to help to raise funds for us, as well as forums that hold online auction, buy-and-sell. Mouse over the right hand column and click those which interest you.
Please support them as much as u can!!!!
Till date, we have $180K.
Thank you everyone!!!!!!
Love, Charlene
[Edited to add latest info on 24th June, 3.22am]
Updates for Day 4 after surgery
Monday, June 22, 2009
1847:
A little update today. Char was allowed to start drinking in some amounts. She drank milk and had sips of her favourite Season's Ice Lemon tea. And she finally had enoughlung power to practise on her "incentive spirometer" and cant wait to sho it to Dr Chiu tonight =) Its an apparatus for lungs rehab. We have also finally got down to our last transfer! The general ward, the ward that left haunting memories for me. Char also managed to sit herself upright for a good 1 min without support. She still complains of pain from the tube still inside her right abdominal, used to drain liquid and blood. I'm hoping that Dr Chiu will order that tube to be removed when he comes later. Am sure that would thrill Char tremendously and would get her even more motivated to start standing up. She's been feeling the hunger for days and looks at least 1kg thinner. But I'm just so so so glad that we have gotten that monster out!! Its an experience, that's painful, yet amazing. Painful to see the kids in lying ICU, all hooked up to machines.. A 10yr old girl whom complained of headache, sent to hospital and rushed to emergency op and has not yet regain her consciousness. Its been 2 weeks, pls pray for her recovery. Seeing her mom makes me realise that heaven is still kind to me. Amazing because these kids show suc resilience, strength andcourage that humbles me. My little girl, along with the other kids, have shown me that as long as there's life,anything is possible. I came with a heavy heart on the 17th wiring that 18th never comes. But I'm leaving here with a recharged mind.
A little update today. Char was allowed to start drinking in some amounts. She drank milk and had sips of her favourite Season's Ice Lemon tea. And she finally had enoughlung power to practise on her "incentive spirometer" and cant wait to sho it to Dr Chiu tonight =) Its an apparatus for lungs rehab. We have also finally got down to our last transfer! The general ward, the ward that left haunting memories for me. Char also managed to sit herself upright for a good 1 min without support. She still complains of pain from the tube still inside her right abdominal, used to drain liquid and blood. I'm hoping that Dr Chiu will order that tube to be removed when he comes later. Am sure that would thrill Char tremendously and would get her even more motivated to start standing up. She's been feeling the hunger for days and looks at least 1kg thinner. But I'm just so so so glad that we have gotten that monster out!! Its an experience, that's painful, yet amazing. Painful to see the kids in lying ICU, all hooked up to machines.. A 10yr old girl whom complained of headache, sent to hospital and rushed to emergency op and has not yet regain her consciousness. Its been 2 weeks, pls pray for her recovery. Seeing her mom makes me realise that heaven is still kind to me. Amazing because these kids show suc resilience, strength andcourage that humbles me. My little girl, along with the other kids, have shown me that as long as there's life,anything is possible. I came with a heavy heart on the 17th wiring that 18th never comes. But I'm leaving here with a recharged mind.
Our Feisty Princess's Birthday Wish
Some of you may have remembered reading that our princess made a little hoo-ha when she realised that her kor kor's birthday would be celebrated earlier than hers. She sulked for entire day due to that.
Kids at this age being kids, have no conception of time. The 2 angels used to celebrate their birthdays together every year despite the fact that their birthdays are 2 months apart. Therefore to Charmaine, this knowledge of kor kor's birthday being earlier than hers is something new.
Hence, when we told her that her birthday is coming, a very big grin appeared on her face and immediately she said, "I want three Doras." (She was referring to the same kinda Power Ranger jely Jase had for his birthday)
We are going to make her wish come true.
1) A Dora jelly would be ordered (consider that done)
2) A Dora mascot would cheer her up during her 5th chemo at NUH. (will liaise)
3) A Dora would whisper into our little feisty princess's ear, telling her that she would be cured at NY.
Charmaine's birthday is on 14th July and the feisty team is hoping to raise SGD 500K by then. We are currently at our 150K mark. That's 30% of our target.
Charmaine has a window period to receive the 3F8 drug in NY. The period would be somewhere between end July to early August after her 5th chemo and we're racing against time to raise our targeted amount.
Please help Charmaine fulfil her wish.
Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Copied & pasted from comments page
Anonymous said...
Dear All,
I believe all of us wanted to shower charmaine with love and gifts...
I would like to appeal here that you DONATE the amount that you are likely to spend on gifts for charmaine instead.
Yes, i sounded so practical... Yes, all kids need presents on their birthday... but we can leave this task to cyn and the feisty team cos they know exactly what will bring a smile on our feisty princess on her birthday.
If we can donate it to her medical funds, that will be the greatest gift for her... a higher chance of survival... and we can avoid getting duplicate gifts which will amount to waste too.
Every dollar counts here... pls spend it wisely...
chloecube said...
i agreed with what Annoymous said. Donating the amount that you wanted to spend on the gift is the greatest present that Char needed right now.Time is running short, pls donate generously.i do not know Char or Cyn by person, but i feel for them. i can explained it myself, when i look at Char, she simply reminds me on my daughter..so sweet and innocent. I hope in this bad times, the public can lend a helping hand to the needy. there is always an angel in our heart.:)
Kids at this age being kids, have no conception of time. The 2 angels used to celebrate their birthdays together every year despite the fact that their birthdays are 2 months apart. Therefore to Charmaine, this knowledge of kor kor's birthday being earlier than hers is something new.
Hence, when we told her that her birthday is coming, a very big grin appeared on her face and immediately she said, "I want three Doras." (She was referring to the same kinda Power Ranger jely Jase had for his birthday)
We are going to make her wish come true.
1) A Dora jelly would be ordered (consider that done)
2) A Dora mascot would cheer her up during her 5th chemo at NUH. (will liaise)
3) A Dora would whisper into our little feisty princess's ear, telling her that she would be cured at NY.
Charmaine's birthday is on 14th July and the feisty team is hoping to raise SGD 500K by then. We are currently at our 150K mark. That's 30% of our target.
Charmaine has a window period to receive the 3F8 drug in NY. The period would be somewhere between end July to early August after her 5th chemo and we're racing against time to raise our targeted amount.
Please help Charmaine fulfil her wish.
Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Copied & pasted from comments page
Anonymous said...
Dear All,
I believe all of us wanted to shower charmaine with love and gifts...
I would like to appeal here that you DONATE the amount that you are likely to spend on gifts for charmaine instead.
Yes, i sounded so practical... Yes, all kids need presents on their birthday... but we can leave this task to cyn and the feisty team cos they know exactly what will bring a smile on our feisty princess on her birthday.
If we can donate it to her medical funds, that will be the greatest gift for her... a higher chance of survival... and we can avoid getting duplicate gifts which will amount to waste too.
Every dollar counts here... pls spend it wisely...
chloecube said...
i agreed with what Annoymous said. Donating the amount that you wanted to spend on the gift is the greatest present that Char needed right now.Time is running short, pls donate generously.i do not know Char or Cyn by person, but i feel for them. i can explained it myself, when i look at Char, she simply reminds me on my daughter..so sweet and innocent. I hope in this bad times, the public can lend a helping hand to the needy. there is always an angel in our heart.:)
Updates for Day 3 after surgery
Sunday, June 21, 2009
1127:
I am proud of my little girl again! The bed next to us whom has completed op days earlier than char is still having morphine of 1ml/hr. Whereas our princ4ess has already reduced her morphine to 0.8ml/hr since yesterday noon!. I was worried about her non response and told Dr Chiu. He said since she's too sleepy, we'll cut the painkiller. She's been feeling more pain and cried slightly throughout the night butshe managed to hold the pain, waking every now and then in pain. Hopefully she can tolerate the pain as we continue to wean her off. Its been confirmed that she has an allergy to IV Paracetamol. Was red like lobster. the nurses are changing shift and passing report now. In ICU, the doctors would term pple like me as "naturally anxious parents"! Char's oxygen is still below acceptable though. She cries of hunger and thirst. I hope today, we can have more improvement. Gonna ask doc on the blood I saw in her urine.
1615:
I am a very happy and relieved mommy now! We removed her urinal catherer this morning at 11am and I've been so worried that she wont be able to urine herself. we tried once with a bed pan at 1ish and she was in such pain and cried. Dr Chui just visited us at 3pm and ordered her feeding tube to be removed. And guess what! After 2 sips of water, she decided to try again with a potty on the floor. And she did it!She sat herself upright when i carried her onto the floor! =D
1704:
By the way its the first time since op that she smiled today! And a number of times! =) We blew bubble as part ofpost op rehab to exercise her lungs.
**
I just got back from the hospital and our princess is really fond of making miracles! She is now back to her feisty self, and she's been playing all the while. =) I have a few photos that will upload later.
Thanks for everyone prayers! She is recovering very well.
Photos:
On top of her head, was the cute stone cat that acts as a weight to the balloon. She was playing with the cat and decided to put it up on her head. So adorable is she, that I had to took a photo of her.
She keep saying, "See, no drop!"
And cheeky princess had to do this smile when the camera is in front of her.
.
"I want to take photo of this mask"
And happily, she took the Oxygen Mask, placed it over her, and looked straight, pretending that she needed that. Of cos, the glee over her face... she is our feisty princess after all.
I am proud of my little girl again! The bed next to us whom has completed op days earlier than char is still having morphine of 1ml/hr. Whereas our princ4ess has already reduced her morphine to 0.8ml/hr since yesterday noon!. I was worried about her non response and told Dr Chiu. He said since she's too sleepy, we'll cut the painkiller. She's been feeling more pain and cried slightly throughout the night butshe managed to hold the pain, waking every now and then in pain. Hopefully she can tolerate the pain as we continue to wean her off. Its been confirmed that she has an allergy to IV Paracetamol. Was red like lobster. the nurses are changing shift and passing report now. In ICU, the doctors would term pple like me as "naturally anxious parents"! Char's oxygen is still below acceptable though. She cries of hunger and thirst. I hope today, we can have more improvement. Gonna ask doc on the blood I saw in her urine.
1615:
I am a very happy and relieved mommy now! We removed her urinal catherer this morning at 11am and I've been so worried that she wont be able to urine herself. we tried once with a bed pan at 1ish and she was in such pain and cried. Dr Chui just visited us at 3pm and ordered her feeding tube to be removed. And guess what! After 2 sips of water, she decided to try again with a potty on the floor. And she did it!She sat herself upright when i carried her onto the floor! =D
1704:
By the way its the first time since op that she smiled today! And a number of times! =) We blew bubble as part ofpost op rehab to exercise her lungs.
**
I just got back from the hospital and our princess is really fond of making miracles! She is now back to her feisty self, and she's been playing all the while. =) I have a few photos that will upload later.
Thanks for everyone prayers! She is recovering very well.
Photos:
On top of her head, was the cute stone cat that acts as a weight to the balloon. She was playing with the cat and decided to put it up on her head. So adorable is she, that I had to took a photo of her.
She keep saying, "See, no drop!"
And cheeky princess had to do this smile when the camera is in front of her.
.
"I want to take photo of this mask"
And happily, she took the Oxygen Mask, placed it over her, and looked straight, pretending that she needed that. Of cos, the glee over her face... she is our feisty princess after all.
Updates for Day 2 after surgery
Saturday, June 20, 2009
0825:
Still in ICU because they found fluid in her chest =(
1539:
We got out of ICU now at ward ** bed **. Her fever is still fluctuating on and off. She's rather lethargic and drowsy. Doesnt talk much except that it's painful. Doc Says she's still stable. But she jerks alot while asleep. Its apparently common after op reaction for kids who have completed a long op. Dr Chiu drops by everyday to check on her, which is very comforting and assuring.
2124:
:-( She's having allergy reaction. Thankfully dr chui noticed when he came this afternoon. Was on e med since yesterday in icu and yet no one noticed! Argh.
I thought its due to her crying over pain. Sigh...
2140:
(Char update)
Fluid still remains in our princess chest because no exercise on the lungs has been done yet. Pray that she understands why and will proceed to do the blowing exercises.
2206:
Urine in her blood. going to poke her again.
Full of issues. She's not even on any thing now. they stopped everything.
2229:
Quite a number of problems occurred the moment we are in high dependancy ward. Gotta poke her again. Quite upset and frustrated.
2306:
Argh. Now they stopped all med and even saline. SIgh. told them to access port instead. no matter where they set the plug, she will still swell.
Photos:
These were secretly taken, but not so secret anymore after put up on here. please do not circulate out. If anyone wants, then please direct them here instead. We do not want to sensationalise these photos. However as this blog is to document down our princess fight with monster, we decided to put it up.
Still in ICU because they found fluid in her chest =(
1539:
We got out of ICU now at ward ** bed **. Her fever is still fluctuating on and off. She's rather lethargic and drowsy. Doesnt talk much except that it's painful. Doc Says she's still stable. But she jerks alot while asleep. Its apparently common after op reaction for kids who have completed a long op. Dr Chiu drops by everyday to check on her, which is very comforting and assuring.
2124:
:-( She's having allergy reaction. Thankfully dr chui noticed when he came this afternoon. Was on e med since yesterday in icu and yet no one noticed! Argh.
I thought its due to her crying over pain. Sigh...
2140:
(Char update)
Fluid still remains in our princess chest because no exercise on the lungs has been done yet. Pray that she understands why and will proceed to do the blowing exercises.
2206:
Urine in her blood. going to poke her again.
Full of issues. She's not even on any thing now. they stopped everything.
2229:
Quite a number of problems occurred the moment we are in high dependancy ward. Gotta poke her again. Quite upset and frustrated.
2306:
Argh. Now they stopped all med and even saline. SIgh. told them to access port instead. no matter where they set the plug, she will still swell.
Photos:
These were secretly taken, but not so secret anymore after put up on here. please do not circulate out. If anyone wants, then please direct them here instead. We do not want to sensationalise these photos. However as this blog is to document down our princess fight with monster, we decided to put it up.
Updates on Donation
Friday, June 19, 2009
Thank you everyone on the kindness and support.
Many have asked, and we thought of having an indicator on the blog for the fund raised level. However, the IT non-savvy feisty team is still trying that out. Hence, a traditional method of updating...
As of this morning, we have about SGD118K but by now, I will assume that we have about SGD130K with the cheques cleared as well as a little from the Paypal.
Since Feb, we have started this fund raising, we have not used any amount yet as Cynthia has been using her own savings still.
One good news that we have heard from Hardwarezone:
"14. An anonymous soul wish to drive the donation by offering a matching exercise of $1-to-$1 donation subject to the maximum of $10k. Any donation that comes in after 12pm today (19 Jun 2009) till the end of this drive (29th Jun 2009), Charmaine will get double.
However, there' are conditions to meet:
* Charmaine must survive her op yesterday.
* Donors must be a member in HWZ.
I am really at a loss of words for his kind and generous act.
Hope that we get more donations to help Charmaine."
Please donate via HWZ with Stardustz! =D
For fundraising activities, please look to the links at the right hand side column. We have auctions for watches, audio, shopping goods, photoshoots ongoing.\
Have a blessed weekend!
Thank you so much!
Love, Charlene
Many have asked, and we thought of having an indicator on the blog for the fund raised level. However, the IT non-savvy feisty team is still trying that out. Hence, a traditional method of updating...
As of this morning, we have about SGD118K but by now, I will assume that we have about SGD130K with the cheques cleared as well as a little from the Paypal.
Since Feb, we have started this fund raising, we have not used any amount yet as Cynthia has been using her own savings still.
One good news that we have heard from Hardwarezone:
"14. An anonymous soul wish to drive the donation by offering a matching exercise of $1-to-$1 donation subject to the maximum of $10k. Any donation that comes in after 12pm today (19 Jun 2009) till the end of this drive (29th Jun 2009), Charmaine will get double.
However, there' are conditions to meet:
* Charmaine must survive her op yesterday.
* Donors must be a member in HWZ.
I am really at a loss of words for his kind and generous act.
Hope that we get more donations to help Charmaine."
Please donate via HWZ with Stardustz! =D
For fundraising activities, please look to the links at the right hand side column. We have auctions for watches, audio, shopping goods, photoshoots ongoing.\
Have a blessed weekend!
Thank you so much!
Love, Charlene
Updates for Day 1 after surgery
0700:
Fever has subsided but still having plasma transfusion.
0923:
Pls put on the blog that I'm in ICU the whole day. No handphone allowed. Pls call only if its urgent. Else text me. I will check phone when i'm out.
1126:
she just demanded to sit upright despite the pain. We elevated the bed for her, and she dozed off. I'm at waiting area drinking a hot drink. Going in soon.
1615:
They just increase pain killer for her again. She has not slept for longer than an hour =( Hopefully this time she can slp longer. Her legs are double the size and she cried, I dont want my legs to be fat cause she felt the heaviness when trying to shift herself. Fever is creeping up again.
1855:
fever is up again =(
Fever has subsided but still having plasma transfusion.
0923:
Pls put on the blog that I'm in ICU the whole day. No handphone allowed. Pls call only if its urgent. Else text me. I will check phone when i'm out.
1126:
she just demanded to sit upright despite the pain. We elevated the bed for her, and she dozed off. I'm at waiting area drinking a hot drink. Going in soon.
1615:
They just increase pain killer for her again. She has not slept for longer than an hour =( Hopefully this time she can slp longer. Her legs are double the size and she cried, I dont want my legs to be fat cause she felt the heaviness when trying to shift herself. Fever is creeping up again.
1855:
fever is up again =(
On Cash Donation and Pay Pal
There have been numerous requests on the cash donation information and paypal details. Those who have been following this story would know that we have once put these information up, took it down etc due to certain issues.
After some discussion, we decided to put this up again, however, PLEASE PLEASE email us back on the details requested below. It is not for public mailing but for accountability and transparency should the authorities require it. (We also have a similar file for the expenses too)
Account Details:
POSB savings a/c 249-28205-7.
This is opened jointly under Cynthia Lim (Char's mommy) and Jolene Loh (Char's Godma) for Charmaine.
Internet Transfer:
Provide your name/nick on the IB trf to ease the admin work at our end to match donors information.
Cheque:
Cheque donations pose much higher probabilty of us not matching the donors as internet banking only reflects if it is QCDM without any account number. In this case, I will need the date of deposit, and amount of $.
Paypal:
eateateat_82@hotmail.com
This is under Godma's personal email because when we did this up, Char's email account wasnt created. Rest assure all funds inside would be for her. For Singaporeans, we strongly urge you not to donate via paypal as there would be admin charges. We would like 100% of the funds to go to Char instead.
PLEASE email us after you have transfered or deposited cheque with the following information:
1) Your full name or a first name at least
2) The name/ pseudonym/ initials used when doing internet banking
3) Date of transfer / Amount transferred
4) Whether you wish for your name to be
(i)displayed in full,
(ii)with some information blotted out or
(iii)with your initials/ pseudonym should we do a public posting of the list of donors.
5) Whether you wish to be on our mailing list
6) Please tell us how you allow Cynthia to use the donation
(a) Only to be used for Charmaine's medical expenses
(b) Use the money for Charmaine's medical and personal expenses only
(c) Use the money for Charmaine's medical and personal expenses, but if need be, you also allow her to use it to ease her family's expenses
========
Optional
=======
1) Contact number
2) Preferred email address
3) Home address
4) Degree of contact. Eg “I’m Cynthia’s friend from _____.”, “I came from _____ forum”, “A friend gave me this link…” etc.
PLEASE EMAIL US BACK ON THE DETAILS EVEN IF YOU LIKE TO BE ANONYMOUS. This is to facilitate audit and for transparency.
Please refrain from sending us message on facebook as we may miss these out. email gmail instead.
Thanx!
After some discussion, we decided to put this up again, however, PLEASE PLEASE email us back on the details requested below. It is not for public mailing but for accountability and transparency should the authorities require it. (We also have a similar file for the expenses too)
Account Details:
POSB savings a/c 249-28205-7.
This is opened jointly under Cynthia Lim (Char's mommy) and Jolene Loh (Char's Godma) for Charmaine.
Internet Transfer:
Provide your name/nick on the IB trf to ease the admin work at our end to match donors information.
Cheque:
Cheque donations pose much higher probabilty of us not matching the donors as internet banking only reflects if it is QCDM without any account number. In this case, I will need the date of deposit, and amount of $.
Paypal:
eateateat_82@hotmail.com
This is under Godma's personal email because when we did this up, Char's email account wasnt created. Rest assure all funds inside would be for her. For Singaporeans, we strongly urge you not to donate via paypal as there would be admin charges. We would like 100% of the funds to go to Char instead.
PLEASE email us after you have transfered or deposited cheque with the following information:
1) Your full name or a first name at least
2) The name/ pseudonym/ initials used when doing internet banking
3) Date of transfer / Amount transferred
4) Whether you wish for your name to be
(i)displayed in full,
(ii)with some information blotted out or
(iii)with your initials/ pseudonym should we do a public posting of the list of donors.
5) Whether you wish to be on our mailing list
6) Please tell us how you allow Cynthia to use the donation
(a) Only to be used for Charmaine's medical expenses
(b) Use the money for Charmaine's medical and personal expenses only
(c) Use the money for Charmaine's medical and personal expenses, but if need be, you also allow her to use it to ease her family's expenses
========
Optional
=======
1) Contact number
2) Preferred email address
3) Home address
4) Degree of contact. Eg “I’m Cynthia’s friend from _____.”, “I came from _____ forum”, “A friend gave me this link…” etc.
PLEASE EMAIL US BACK ON THE DETAILS EVEN IF YOU LIKE TO BE ANONYMOUS. This is to facilitate audit and for transparency.
Please refrain from sending us message on facebook as we may miss these out. email gmail instead.
Thanx!
Feisty Team needs rescue
The feisty team need rescue! We need web programmer volunteers to help with database and the website...
If you can spare some time, please email to jossetan@yahoo.com.sg
If you can spare some time, please email to jossetan@yahoo.com.sg
Charmaine Operation Progress
Thursday, June 18, 2009
0924:
Sedated and in OT.
1447:
Charmaine was very strong when she went in. She didnt cry at all. And she didnt put up any resist. Am very proud of her maturity and her courage. She's still inside.
1603:
The anathesist just came out for her break. She saw me and said the op still has a long way. Pray for Char
1728:
Dr Chui just came out. Said they removed 99% of the tumour and 10% of her liver. Lost blood and had a few packs of transfusion. Dr Ong is stitching up her wound now. Will take some time. But she's stable and will be pushed to icu.
1851:
Char is still not out yet
2010:
Char just came out of ot. I still cant go in yet.
2130:
Cyn is wif char in the icu ward now. So she cant use the fone. We only get to see char ard 8.40pm in the icu ward. Get a glimpse of char when shes pushed into the icu ard 7.30pm if not wrong. The doc took out the respiratory thing after the ops. But later they feel that her breathin is not up to their expectation or standard. So they give her the oxygen mask and insert a tube through her nose til the nasal to help facilitate her breathing. Shes still breathin on her own. Char also have high chances of bleeding. Cyn will confirm wif dr chui as he didnt mention to up earlier on. thus they doing blood transfusion now as well. Shes also sedated with little bit of morphine as her wound is rather big and will hurt. Overall shes considered stable.
- sms from Angela Chua
Thank goodness.
Love, Charlene
2341:
Char woke up abt 10.30pm. She cried very loudly, shouted pain. Her nasal tube to aid her breathing got wrenched out. The doc decided to take it out than. She also asked for water but we couldn't feed her any. She cries that her throat is painful. :-( when i was told to wait outside, she again cried loudly for kor kor and mummy. I tried my best to hold my tears because i really don't wish her to see me cry when she's already in so much pain... She eventually calmed down when i told her e 'secret' of how Jase fell at waiting area.
2349:
I told Charmaine, 'you have already won your monster! Mummy knows you are in pain but just focus on 2 days later when e pain will be gone. Told her that if she drinks water now, she wil vomit and its more painful. She understood everything i said. She listened quietly, and asked for her towel pillow and dozed off into her sleep shortly. I don't know how is it that she can be this brave and strong, but she just is. So much stronger than this mummy of hers... I'm just sitting outside at e waiting area, too afraid to fall asleep now.
0012:
Sigh, char is having a fever now :-( am getting worried. The transfusions have not stopped yet. Plasma, packed cells. Hopefully she can pass tonight safely.
0014:
I just whispered into her ears, saying I'm going to rest for an hour. She's asleep but she actually shook her head!
0118:
She woke up in pain again. Immediately after my last msg. Cried, and wanted everything off her. :-(she can't sleep through. The painkiller they gave cannot be too high because she's not on respirator. Painkkiller will shrink e airway.
Please continue to pray for Charmaine to pass through everything safely.
Love,
Jolene
19 June 2009
0700:
Fever has subsided but still having plasma transfusion.
0923:
Pls put on the blog that I'm in ICU the whole day. No handphone allowed. Pls call unless its urgent. Else text me. I will check phone when i'm out.
(Email us, and if needed, we will provideo our contact number instead)
Love, Charlene
Sedated and in OT.
1447:
Charmaine was very strong when she went in. She didnt cry at all. And she didnt put up any resist. Am very proud of her maturity and her courage. She's still inside.
1603:
The anathesist just came out for her break. She saw me and said the op still has a long way. Pray for Char
1728:
Dr Chui just came out. Said they removed 99% of the tumour and 10% of her liver. Lost blood and had a few packs of transfusion. Dr Ong is stitching up her wound now. Will take some time. But she's stable and will be pushed to icu.
1851:
Char is still not out yet
2010:
Char just came out of ot. I still cant go in yet.
2130:
Cyn is wif char in the icu ward now. So she cant use the fone. We only get to see char ard 8.40pm in the icu ward. Get a glimpse of char when shes pushed into the icu ard 7.30pm if not wrong. The doc took out the respiratory thing after the ops. But later they feel that her breathin is not up to their expectation or standard. So they give her the oxygen mask and insert a tube through her nose til the nasal to help facilitate her breathing. Shes still breathin on her own. Char also have high chances of bleeding. Cyn will confirm wif dr chui as he didnt mention to up earlier on. thus they doing blood transfusion now as well. Shes also sedated with little bit of morphine as her wound is rather big and will hurt. Overall shes considered stable.
- sms from Angela Chua
Thank goodness.
Love, Charlene
2341:
Char woke up abt 10.30pm. She cried very loudly, shouted pain. Her nasal tube to aid her breathing got wrenched out. The doc decided to take it out than. She also asked for water but we couldn't feed her any. She cries that her throat is painful. :-( when i was told to wait outside, she again cried loudly for kor kor and mummy. I tried my best to hold my tears because i really don't wish her to see me cry when she's already in so much pain... She eventually calmed down when i told her e 'secret' of how Jase fell at waiting area.
2349:
I told Charmaine, 'you have already won your monster! Mummy knows you are in pain but just focus on 2 days later when e pain will be gone. Told her that if she drinks water now, she wil vomit and its more painful. She understood everything i said. She listened quietly, and asked for her towel pillow and dozed off into her sleep shortly. I don't know how is it that she can be this brave and strong, but she just is. So much stronger than this mummy of hers... I'm just sitting outside at e waiting area, too afraid to fall asleep now.
0012:
Sigh, char is having a fever now :-( am getting worried. The transfusions have not stopped yet. Plasma, packed cells. Hopefully she can pass tonight safely.
0014:
I just whispered into her ears, saying I'm going to rest for an hour. She's asleep but she actually shook her head!
0118:
She woke up in pain again. Immediately after my last msg. Cried, and wanted everything off her. :-(she can't sleep through. The painkiller they gave cannot be too high because she's not on respirator. Painkkiller will shrink e airway.
Please continue to pray for Charmaine to pass through everything safely.
Love,
Jolene
19 June 2009
0700:
Fever has subsided but still having plasma transfusion.
0923:
Pls put on the blog that I'm in ICU the whole day. No handphone allowed. Pls call unless its urgent. Else text me. I will check phone when i'm out.
(Email us, and if needed, we will provideo our contact number instead)
Love, Charlene
Fund Raising activities
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Many of you have emailed on the fund raising activities, and there are others who have dove straight into execution. Thank you so much in helping and for this group of people, we have been a little slower in responding. So sorry for that.
(If the passage looks highly unreadable, please forgive me for, we have been answering queries, emails, sms, phones for all the angels)
We would like to list as many as we can, to direct those who like to contribute in either goods, services, or in cash, so that efforts can be combined, if required. Most of them will be listed slowly and if I miss out any, please inform me too.
1. Online Auction
- We received alot of old watches, books, etc to donate/sell. We took the liberty to whack into David's forum even though his is into earphones and headphones. Our non-IT feisty team are amazed by it. =X
http://jaben.net/forums/index.php?board=132.0
2. Photoshoots
- Doggie shoots
- Children shoots/family shoots
- Models shoots
These are upcoming and are in the process of confirming the details. Please check out the links and we will (try) to massmail all once we have the info too.
3. Forum Fundraising
- If you belong to any forums, you can also donate via those forums (for now, we believe is VR, and Hardware)
4. Baking (yum!)
- Lovely mommies, mum-to-be and pretty ladies are helping out in these. Again, info will be up for sales once ready.
We also received accessories, mugs, etcetc and sorry that it takes a little bit longer to get all these organize.
Back to the emails and tmr 9am, please pray.
Love, Charlene
(If the passage looks highly unreadable, please forgive me for, we have been answering queries, emails, sms, phones for all the angels)
We would like to list as many as we can, to direct those who like to contribute in either goods, services, or in cash, so that efforts can be combined, if required. Most of them will be listed slowly and if I miss out any, please inform me too.
1. Online Auction
- We received alot of old watches, books, etc to donate/sell. We took the liberty to whack into David's forum even though his is into earphones and headphones. Our non-IT feisty team are amazed by it. =X
http://jaben.net/forums/index.php?board=132.0
2. Photoshoots
- Doggie shoots
- Children shoots/family shoots
- Models shoots
These are upcoming and are in the process of confirming the details. Please check out the links and we will (try) to massmail all once we have the info too.
3. Forum Fundraising
- If you belong to any forums, you can also donate via those forums (for now, we believe is VR, and Hardware)
4. Baking (yum!)
- Lovely mommies, mum-to-be and pretty ladies are helping out in these. Again, info will be up for sales once ready.
We also received accessories, mugs, etcetc and sorry that it takes a little bit longer to get all these organize.
Back to the emails and tmr 9am, please pray.
Love, Charlene
Removing the monster
"We are buying bullets to kill the monster"
"A knife will cut open stomach and take out monster"
These are words that we told Charmaine yday.
Now, she is in the hospital, getting ready for Round 1.
From now till she gets back, Cynthia will be out of internet access.
---
SMS Update:
17:21
"Stepphing back into the same level 5 brings back all the memories i dont wish to be reminded of. Those first few days of diagnosis.. my days of bad news and crying. Cant hold my tears the whole day. Having the surgeon, oncologist, anathesis getting me to sign forms of consent, explaining the risksmakes it even more tough to stay sane and calm" -cyn mummy
Love,
Charlene
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Edited to add]
On Tuesday night, cyn mummy did a pep talk with Charmaine to prepare her for the upcoming surgery. Our little princess was a little afraid and apprehensive. She asked cyn mummy lots of questions. Finally, she overcome her fear and decided she would face the battle with the monster bravely.
"I will throw the naughty monster in the dustbin and laugh at monster," declared little Charmaine with a cheeky little chuckle.
For the next few moments, Jase and Charmaine were thinking of the various ways to deal with the monster after it was taken out from her "tummy".
Just now at KKH, little Charmaine was as feisty as ever. She was so energetic, often getting down from bed, climbing onto seats and observing the people around her. We could even go to the indoor playground to have a great workout. She truly enjoyed herself with no restriction whatsoever. Seeing her run around with a huge smile plastered on her face, we can't help but smile to ourselves.
Have I already mentioned that char was more than ready to face the monster anytime? Each time we walked out of the ward, she would ask, "Is it take out monster now?"
Fight on, my dear Charmaine! You can do it!
Love,
Jolene
"A knife will cut open stomach and take out monster"
These are words that we told Charmaine yday.
Now, she is in the hospital, getting ready for Round 1.
From now till she gets back, Cynthia will be out of internet access.
---
SMS Update:
17:21
"Stepphing back into the same level 5 brings back all the memories i dont wish to be reminded of. Those first few days of diagnosis.. my days of bad news and crying. Cant hold my tears the whole day. Having the surgeon, oncologist, anathesis getting me to sign forms of consent, explaining the risksmakes it even more tough to stay sane and calm" -cyn mummy
Love,
Charlene
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Edited to add]
On Tuesday night, cyn mummy did a pep talk with Charmaine to prepare her for the upcoming surgery. Our little princess was a little afraid and apprehensive. She asked cyn mummy lots of questions. Finally, she overcome her fear and decided she would face the battle with the monster bravely.
"I will throw the naughty monster in the dustbin and laugh at monster," declared little Charmaine with a cheeky little chuckle.
For the next few moments, Jase and Charmaine were thinking of the various ways to deal with the monster after it was taken out from her "tummy".
Just now at KKH, little Charmaine was as feisty as ever. She was so energetic, often getting down from bed, climbing onto seats and observing the people around her. We could even go to the indoor playground to have a great workout. She truly enjoyed herself with no restriction whatsoever. Seeing her run around with a huge smile plastered on her face, we can't help but smile to ourselves.
Have I already mentioned that char was more than ready to face the monster anytime? Each time we walked out of the ward, she would ask, "Is it take out monster now?"
Fight on, my dear Charmaine! You can do it!
Love,
Jolene
From the Feisty Team
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Many thanks to the angels that fly and stopped by to pray for Charmaine. No matter if it is monetary, faith, or words of encouragement, they are dear to us, and it means alot to Cynthia.
With the help of media, the last two days have given us the glimpse of hope, that we have been searching for.
Charmaine will be in the surgery this Thursday, wheeled in at 9am (if that does not change still) to remove that monster. After which from the recovery, that is the best window for her treatment.
There are requests to visit Charmaine, and we would prefer it to be after July, where a reasonable amount of time is given for her to recover. Why not before some might ask. Jase jase and Charmaine are very close. We are trying to have them spending more time with each other as much as possible. Hope you all understand.
I think I sound a little incoherent right now, and if we do not get back to the emails queries as fast as we wanted, please hang on, or re-email us again. Be sure that it is definitely not that we had overlooked, but under-staffed.
A busy period for all of us, and yeap, we shall be retiring in bed soon. =)
Thanks to all angels!!!
Love,
Charlene, Jolene, Josse.
With the help of media, the last two days have given us the glimpse of hope, that we have been searching for.
Charmaine will be in the surgery this Thursday, wheeled in at 9am (if that does not change still) to remove that monster. After which from the recovery, that is the best window for her treatment.
There are requests to visit Charmaine, and we would prefer it to be after July, where a reasonable amount of time is given for her to recover. Why not before some might ask. Jase jase and Charmaine are very close. We are trying to have them spending more time with each other as much as possible. Hope you all understand.
I think I sound a little incoherent right now, and if we do not get back to the emails queries as fast as we wanted, please hang on, or re-email us again. Be sure that it is definitely not that we had overlooked, but under-staffed.
A busy period for all of us, and yeap, we shall be retiring in bed soon. =)
Thanks to all angels!!!
Love,
Charlene, Jolene, Josse.
Pls pray for Charmaine to pull through her surgery... THANK YOU...
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Hello to everyone reading to find updates about Charmaine...
Before I begin, I like to say a very BIG "THANK YOU" to everyone who has wrote in with words of encouragement and donation in kind or offering to help in any ways possible. I am indeed blessed. So is my little princess.
I make it a point to read every email and every posting that everyone have posted and every single word has touched me greatly. Be it a short cheer-us-on message to more heartfelt stories and experiences, I simply could not stop myself from crying while reading them. THANK YOU THANK YOU! I like to apologise for not being able to reply to each one of you personally, but I like to assure you that I will not forget your words of encouragement and efforts in helping me to save my little Charmaine.
We are still far away from the targeted deposit amount of USD $350,000. The amount raised and all my savings included amount to about SGD $50,000. As worried as I am, I am not giving up hope. Since the day I made up my mind to do my best to give Charmaine a better chance to win her monster, my mind has not wavered. Although I still cant help feeling hurt and upset when some question my decision, I just keep telling myself to focus on what I have to do and whatever is within my control. I told myself, "I can cry but I still must move on".
Accepting the interview from papers, pleading publicly, whatever I do, I just want my Charmaine to live...
I met up with Dr Chui Chan Hon from SurgeryforChildren to discuss about Charmaine's surgery this afternoon. I can safely say Dr Chui is one of the most compassionate doctors I've come across. Knowing my plight, he never charges me a single cent for the consultation. THANK YOU Dr Chui! He is a doctor who is truly concern for his patients and will go the extra mile. He told me today that he has in fact written to Hongkong himself, asking if there were anymore 3F8 that can be given to my little princess. I was very moved. Even though the reply from Hongkong was 'NOT POSSIBLE', the fact that he is always doing everything he can to help Charmaine live, is what I am touched by. I have never doubted Singapore's medical care and expertise, and is in fact glad that Charmaine is born a Singaporean. This is because if Charmaine is born anywhere else, she may not even have been able to be treated with the chemotherapy, and may not have even have been able to make it this far... I have heard of the other less fortunate children who are diagnosed in China and were not able to undergo the same treatment that Charmaine has previously gone through...
Anyhow, listening to Dr Chui's explanation on what to expect on thursday is both assuring and yet painful. I know I can count on Dr Chui to do the best for Charmaine as many other neuroblastoma kids' parents have testified. Nonetheless, "tube in the nose, tube from the stomach, urinal tube, pain, mortality rate is pretty much everything that I dont really want to hear or see. I tried my best to absorb what I should as a parent, and kept telling not to cry; not to cry when Dr Chui was explaining, not to cry when Charmaine comes out of the OT. I really am not as strong as what you think of me, and I really dont know how can I stay sane when I see her post op. The only distraction I have for myself is to focus on her coming out of the OT alive... ALIVE, ALIVE, ALIVE is all I should pray for now... I am almost going crazy when others tell me to be prepared. I DONT KNOW HOW and I WILL NEVER BE!
Even the thought of me going into the OT with her is too painful for me... I can still remember vividly how the scary room looks like to me when she went in for her tumor biopsy and her porthacath implant surgery...
I'm so sorry, I cant continue writing anymore...
Love,
Cyn mummy
Before I begin, I like to say a very BIG "THANK YOU" to everyone who has wrote in with words of encouragement and donation in kind or offering to help in any ways possible. I am indeed blessed. So is my little princess.
I make it a point to read every email and every posting that everyone have posted and every single word has touched me greatly. Be it a short cheer-us-on message to more heartfelt stories and experiences, I simply could not stop myself from crying while reading them. THANK YOU THANK YOU! I like to apologise for not being able to reply to each one of you personally, but I like to assure you that I will not forget your words of encouragement and efforts in helping me to save my little Charmaine.
We are still far away from the targeted deposit amount of USD $350,000. The amount raised and all my savings included amount to about SGD $50,000. As worried as I am, I am not giving up hope. Since the day I made up my mind to do my best to give Charmaine a better chance to win her monster, my mind has not wavered. Although I still cant help feeling hurt and upset when some question my decision, I just keep telling myself to focus on what I have to do and whatever is within my control. I told myself, "I can cry but I still must move on".
Accepting the interview from papers, pleading publicly, whatever I do, I just want my Charmaine to live...
I met up with Dr Chui Chan Hon from SurgeryforChildren to discuss about Charmaine's surgery this afternoon. I can safely say Dr Chui is one of the most compassionate doctors I've come across. Knowing my plight, he never charges me a single cent for the consultation. THANK YOU Dr Chui! He is a doctor who is truly concern for his patients and will go the extra mile. He told me today that he has in fact written to Hongkong himself, asking if there were anymore 3F8 that can be given to my little princess. I was very moved. Even though the reply from Hongkong was 'NOT POSSIBLE', the fact that he is always doing everything he can to help Charmaine live, is what I am touched by. I have never doubted Singapore's medical care and expertise, and is in fact glad that Charmaine is born a Singaporean. This is because if Charmaine is born anywhere else, she may not even have been able to be treated with the chemotherapy, and may not have even have been able to make it this far... I have heard of the other less fortunate children who are diagnosed in China and were not able to undergo the same treatment that Charmaine has previously gone through...
Anyhow, listening to Dr Chui's explanation on what to expect on thursday is both assuring and yet painful. I know I can count on Dr Chui to do the best for Charmaine as many other neuroblastoma kids' parents have testified. Nonetheless, "tube in the nose, tube from the stomach, urinal tube, pain, mortality rate is pretty much everything that I dont really want to hear or see. I tried my best to absorb what I should as a parent, and kept telling not to cry; not to cry when Dr Chui was explaining, not to cry when Charmaine comes out of the OT. I really am not as strong as what you think of me, and I really dont know how can I stay sane when I see her post op. The only distraction I have for myself is to focus on her coming out of the OT alive... ALIVE, ALIVE, ALIVE is all I should pray for now... I am almost going crazy when others tell me to be prepared. I DONT KNOW HOW and I WILL NEVER BE!
Even the thought of me going into the OT with her is too painful for me... I can still remember vividly how the scary room looks like to me when she went in for her tumor biopsy and her porthacath implant surgery...
I'm so sorry, I cant continue writing anymore...
Love,
Cyn mummy
A quick intro to our feisty team
Friday, June 12, 2009
Dear all,
Just a short note here.
As the blog and website get more publicised, we have been receiving lots of emails from the website as well as from gmail. Some of you who sent email to us have been confused about who we are.
ourfeistyprincess.blogspot.com and ourfeistyprincess.com are managed by our little team of 4 namely Cynthia mummy, Josse, Charlene and Godma Jolene.
Cynthia Mummy -- She reads every email on both ourfeistyprincess@gmail.com, contact@ourfeistyprincess.com and any other messages sent via the website. She also updates this blog.
Josse -- She manages ourfeistyprincess.com and all things related to fundraising.
Charlene & Jolene -- We manage this blogspot and gmail replies.
Josse is a mummy who has to work and tend to a young child. Charlene has work and lessons to juggle while finding time to shuttle to NUH and Cynthia's house each time she can. As for me, I've got work, pte tuition and wedding prep to tend to. Hence, we try our very best to reply to emails whenever the time permits.
Please bear with us if we take a little while to reply as we are trying to manage as much as our time permits.
Thank you to all the wonderful people out there for your support and kind understanding.
Regards,
Jolene
Just a short note here.
As the blog and website get more publicised, we have been receiving lots of emails from the website as well as from gmail. Some of you who sent email to us have been confused about who we are.
ourfeistyprincess.blogspot.com and ourfeistyprincess.com are managed by our little team of 4 namely Cynthia mummy, Josse, Charlene and Godma Jolene.
Cynthia Mummy -- She reads every email on both ourfeistyprincess@gmail.com, contact@ourfeistyprincess.com and any other messages sent via the website. She also updates this blog.
Josse -- She manages ourfeistyprincess.com and all things related to fundraising.
Charlene & Jolene -- We manage this blogspot and gmail replies.
Josse is a mummy who has to work and tend to a young child. Charlene has work and lessons to juggle while finding time to shuttle to NUH and Cynthia's house each time she can. As for me, I've got work, pte tuition and wedding prep to tend to. Hence, we try our very best to reply to emails whenever the time permits.
Please bear with us if we take a little while to reply as we are trying to manage as much as our time permits.
Thank you to all the wonderful people out there for your support and kind understanding.
Regards,
Jolene
SMS update: Scan result
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
By Cynthia on 14:45pm
"Bad news is the monster is still there but good news is it looks to be half the size now. Only very preliminary results. Nonetheless, i'm grateful that it has become smaller. Char is still sedated, but she's fine. I will fix an appt to see Dr Chiu, cant wait to hear his expert advice!"
Fundraising updates:
Thank you for everyone in extending your help. Nothing is too small and thank you so much on it. We will keep those in the email loop whenever we can as currently we are quite tied up on other items on hand.
Yesterday, community spirit was high up in Cynthia place and thanks for those that made last night a good one for Cynthia. While she is very scared with what she has to face, last night experience was very comforting for her. Thank you once again for all the suggestions.
Love, Charlene
"Bad news is the monster is still there but good news is it looks to be half the size now. Only very preliminary results. Nonetheless, i'm grateful that it has become smaller. Char is still sedated, but she's fine. I will fix an appt to see Dr Chiu, cant wait to hear his expert advice!"
Fundraising updates:
Thank you for everyone in extending your help. Nothing is too small and thank you so much on it. We will keep those in the email loop whenever we can as currently we are quite tied up on other items on hand.
Yesterday, community spirit was high up in Cynthia place and thanks for those that made last night a good one for Cynthia. While she is very scared with what she has to face, last night experience was very comforting for her. Thank you once again for all the suggestions.
Love, Charlene
My Other Challenges...
Saturday, June 6, 2009
I have quite a handful of challenges to sort out soon...
Firstly, the current maid is not adjusting well to the environment at home with us and hence, unfortunately, I am on the lookout again... This really is the worst timing of all... I have 12 more days to go before Char's big surgery and I simply have no time to go down to agencies looking for a new maid. I have been spending hours daily until the wee hours searching online for maid bio-datas and am going bonkas soon! Quite frankly, I am not confident I can get a good one and I seriously do not know how to choose a good one either. I need a reliable one, a hygienic one, a clean one and a healthy one because I cant risk anything with Charmaine. I almost wish I can do without one. Yet, the annoying thing is I cant do without one. :-( So yes, in between hospital and home, I am desperately surfing and calling...
Secondly, I am also trying to coordinate with New York MSKCC to see if we can work out any arrangement for Charmaine's treatment should we not raise enough funds in time. From my layman's understanding, New York has replaced bone marrow transplant with the 3F8 drug (for some kids I assume, because I am not sure if it for all NB kids) because they have apparently achieved better or comparable results.
The standard protocol for NB Stage IV kids is generally chemotherapy, surgery and bone marrow transplant. Charmaine has already completed 4 out of her schedule 5 cycles, and she is scheduled for her 5th cycle after the surgery as soon as she recovers. After the 5th chemotherapy, doctors will harvest her blood for her stem cell transplant (in case we fail to raise enough money to go to NY, Char will have to continue with the stem cell transplant which is a nightmare that I dont even want to think about now). So anyway, ideally, to optimise the chances for Charmaine, she should leave for NY as soon as she completes the harvesting which is most slightly sometime in end July or latest by early August. I dread to think of the 'deadline' and I sincerely hope that Char doesnt miss the 'critical window phase' for her 3F8. Hence, I wrote to New York, pleading with them to please allow me to bring Charmaine over as we continue to raise the funds and maybe allow me to pay them in instalments.
I have been pleading and begging so much in the last 3 months of my life and this has been the most humbling experience ever. Before my divorce, you can probably classify me as prideful lass whom will rarely plead but would rather die a prideful loser. Motherhood changes everything. Its weird how one would rather die than beg for oneself but when it comes to doing anything to save our very own babies, anything... even my life... not to even mention any pride. It has really been not easy. I just feel that I have totally lost my own purpose in life, no principles, no individual goals... unexplainable... like I am no longer living for myself... and my only purpose in life is to prolong Charmaine's life for as long as possible until a cure for neuroblastoma is found. On the one hand, I should not be upset really because at least compared to alot of others out there trying to find a goal in their lives, I have one clear and straightforward goal thrown onto me without needing me to figure out. So yes, I am fortunate in that sense. On the other hand, its tough, tough to lose your own identity and yet be able to remain positive and hopeful in front of the kids so that they dont lose their own dreams and purposes in life.
Thirdly, Charmaine is scheduled for her CT scan on the 9th of June, Tuesday. Charmaine needs sedation because all the huge machines freak and traumatise her tremendously. We always need to get her sedated so that she is not aware of what is happening to her. There was once when she was doing her MIBG scan at SGH and the sweet auntie nurse insisted that since Charmaine is coming 4 and she could do it without... We had such a a hard time comforting Charmaine because she just cried non stop and nearly vomitted from all the crying... Eventually, we managed to calm her down enough to do the scan but we just couldnt get her to keep her head up within inches of the machine from her forehead. Hence, on day 2, sweet auntie nurse said "sedation"... Its not nurse auntie fault... Coming from her perspective, sedation is no good because they worry that the child might stop breathing which I could totally understand. In all honesty, I dont want to sedate her too, given a choice. But, as much as I fear for her vitals, I also hate to see her cry her lungs out and struggle so much. So, yes between the 2 evils, I choose to have her sedated so that she doesnt live in the fear of all the images of these huge machines and only I will have memories of my own daughter being tied and hooked up to all the scary machines, deeply imprinted onto my head.
So I digress. I am having mixed emotions for Tuesday's scan. Its the first time we are going to come face to face with the monster tumor after we started chemo, since the CT scan done on 14th Feb. Dr Aung asked me yesterday, "You will be excited to know the results from me, wont you!". Well, yes and no. I wish that she can tell me, "The monster has miraculously disappeared!". In my own denial state, I just dont want to know anything about it because I hate it. And its mentally tiring to hear anything about it. But as a rational being, in order to win the battle, I have to know my enemy well so I have to face it. A few possible scenarios, no bed and we have to reschedule the scan, or results - book an appointment with Dr Chui and more, more news and information that I dont want to know but have to understand - the risk, what's going happen, how long is the surgery... I am already crying typing this. I hate myself for being such a crybaby sometimes! How the heck will I win the battle with me crying all the time. Argh! (that reminds me, I have to drop Dr Chui an email informing him of the scan), or results - dont know what to expect...
Fourthly, I have a few friends asking me if I approached the foundations. We approached Ronald McDonald, they have apparently closed applications for this year. Well, I am not surprised with the financial crisis. Our social worker from Children Cancer Foundation also said that she can only help if the treatment is in Singapore. This is why I am begging and pleading you to help me. It seems that these foundations only can help if treatment is in Singapore. But how do I tell them that my Charmaine's additional 20%-40% chance of survival is not in Singapore but in New York. :( I wish, more than anyone else for the treatment to be in Singapore! But my doctor is also helpless. She tried to write to them to allow the drug to be brought into Singapore but we failed. 'Clinical trial, not humanized, no drug company willing to manufacture the drug because there is not enough demand for it (although NB is one of the more common childhood cancer, it is still not THE MOST common)'--- some of the info I read up. Oh, apparently, money would be invested on drugs that can also be used to cure other cancers, instead of a targeted cancer... commercial motivations... lots of many many other reasons... all that makes rational sense but nothing that is helpful really. [I also read about the many other scientists and researchers devoting their time and effort to finding a cure for NB, a very big thank you!]
Five, I brought Jase in for a blood test yesterday. I got the scare of my life. When the nurse came out and informed me that his platelets were too low and they needed to do another blood test for him, my tears just came streaming down non stop. I am very vulnerable now. I can break anytime and I cannot take another blow in my life. SO PLEASE, whoever is up there hearing me, PLEASE SPARE ME!!! Anyway, I was discussing with a few mommies with Luekemia kids and somehow, Jase is displaying the same symptoms. Losing weight, complaining of knee pain when I dont see any wounds, fever on and off... They advised me to bring Jase for a check just to be safe. Ever since Char's diagnosis, I always have this tingling feeling. Jase is affected. Some friends say it could be pyschological issues and that Jase is subconsciously falling ill more than often to get the attention that he so desperately need from mommy me and yet I am so ashamed to say that I hardly could provide... Anyway, thank goodness, I waited anxiously for the second test result and it turned out fine. They found a blood clot in the first test which resulted in the low platelets count. Well, I am not resting my guard yet, probably never will. Charmaine's first blood test also yielded nothing too fearful but look what I gotten eventually... Hey mommies reading this, please dont be freaked out by me... I am just an over-the-board paranoid mommy now. Doctor did find a couple of swollen lymp nodes around Jase neck and we are going to have to observe him carefully. It could be just from a simple viral infection to ...................whatever... I dont want to think or know now.
Lastly, to the many people with questions on the fundraising that my friend Josse is coordinating and the questions coming into the blog, please do bear with us. I seek your kind understanding here because as some of you might already know our dear godma jolene is getting married in July and busy with her prep while trying to help as much as possible... Charlene is also busy with her work and lessons... Josse is a mother of one, with kids and work to worry as well... I admit that we are in a bit of a "trying to figure out" and "work in progress" mode, with all of us sorting things out on our end... we try to call, we try to email... but we are not operating like a steering committee who gets to brain storm and sort the challenges out. All of them, including many others working silently in the background, are doing it out of a goodwill for me and for Charmaine. We dont have a structure and we only have 4 of us but we know every cent of the money that comes through our way is hard earned money and I know that I am picking the worst time in pleading to you to help me because of the financial crisis... I know that many of you out there are having a tough time like me too... BUT PLEASE, please believe me that I have no wish to mis-use, cheat or put the funds to inappropriate use... Charmaine's battle with neuroblastoma is a life-long one... For as long as she lives, there is always a chance for relapse and living life in my shoes is not pleasant at all... I have lost my carpe diem...
I just like to end by saying that: "I thank everyone for everything, donations, words of encouragement, and just being around. I am forever grateful. THANK YOU!"
Love,
Cyn mummy.
PS: Please take good care. Good Health is priceless.
Firstly, the current maid is not adjusting well to the environment at home with us and hence, unfortunately, I am on the lookout again... This really is the worst timing of all... I have 12 more days to go before Char's big surgery and I simply have no time to go down to agencies looking for a new maid. I have been spending hours daily until the wee hours searching online for maid bio-datas and am going bonkas soon! Quite frankly, I am not confident I can get a good one and I seriously do not know how to choose a good one either. I need a reliable one, a hygienic one, a clean one and a healthy one because I cant risk anything with Charmaine. I almost wish I can do without one. Yet, the annoying thing is I cant do without one. :-( So yes, in between hospital and home, I am desperately surfing and calling...
Secondly, I am also trying to coordinate with New York MSKCC to see if we can work out any arrangement for Charmaine's treatment should we not raise enough funds in time. From my layman's understanding, New York has replaced bone marrow transplant with the 3F8 drug (for some kids I assume, because I am not sure if it for all NB kids) because they have apparently achieved better or comparable results.
The standard protocol for NB Stage IV kids is generally chemotherapy, surgery and bone marrow transplant. Charmaine has already completed 4 out of her schedule 5 cycles, and she is scheduled for her 5th cycle after the surgery as soon as she recovers. After the 5th chemotherapy, doctors will harvest her blood for her stem cell transplant (in case we fail to raise enough money to go to NY, Char will have to continue with the stem cell transplant which is a nightmare that I dont even want to think about now). So anyway, ideally, to optimise the chances for Charmaine, she should leave for NY as soon as she completes the harvesting which is most slightly sometime in end July or latest by early August. I dread to think of the 'deadline' and I sincerely hope that Char doesnt miss the 'critical window phase' for her 3F8. Hence, I wrote to New York, pleading with them to please allow me to bring Charmaine over as we continue to raise the funds and maybe allow me to pay them in instalments.
I have been pleading and begging so much in the last 3 months of my life and this has been the most humbling experience ever. Before my divorce, you can probably classify me as prideful lass whom will rarely plead but would rather die a prideful loser. Motherhood changes everything. Its weird how one would rather die than beg for oneself but when it comes to doing anything to save our very own babies, anything... even my life... not to even mention any pride. It has really been not easy. I just feel that I have totally lost my own purpose in life, no principles, no individual goals... unexplainable... like I am no longer living for myself... and my only purpose in life is to prolong Charmaine's life for as long as possible until a cure for neuroblastoma is found. On the one hand, I should not be upset really because at least compared to alot of others out there trying to find a goal in their lives, I have one clear and straightforward goal thrown onto me without needing me to figure out. So yes, I am fortunate in that sense. On the other hand, its tough, tough to lose your own identity and yet be able to remain positive and hopeful in front of the kids so that they dont lose their own dreams and purposes in life.
Thirdly, Charmaine is scheduled for her CT scan on the 9th of June, Tuesday. Charmaine needs sedation because all the huge machines freak and traumatise her tremendously. We always need to get her sedated so that she is not aware of what is happening to her. There was once when she was doing her MIBG scan at SGH and the sweet auntie nurse insisted that since Charmaine is coming 4 and she could do it without... We had such a a hard time comforting Charmaine because she just cried non stop and nearly vomitted from all the crying... Eventually, we managed to calm her down enough to do the scan but we just couldnt get her to keep her head up within inches of the machine from her forehead. Hence, on day 2, sweet auntie nurse said "sedation"... Its not nurse auntie fault... Coming from her perspective, sedation is no good because they worry that the child might stop breathing which I could totally understand. In all honesty, I dont want to sedate her too, given a choice. But, as much as I fear for her vitals, I also hate to see her cry her lungs out and struggle so much. So, yes between the 2 evils, I choose to have her sedated so that she doesnt live in the fear of all the images of these huge machines and only I will have memories of my own daughter being tied and hooked up to all the scary machines, deeply imprinted onto my head.
So I digress. I am having mixed emotions for Tuesday's scan. Its the first time we are going to come face to face with the monster tumor after we started chemo, since the CT scan done on 14th Feb. Dr Aung asked me yesterday, "You will be excited to know the results from me, wont you!". Well, yes and no. I wish that she can tell me, "The monster has miraculously disappeared!". In my own denial state, I just dont want to know anything about it because I hate it. And its mentally tiring to hear anything about it. But as a rational being, in order to win the battle, I have to know my enemy well so I have to face it. A few possible scenarios, no bed and we have to reschedule the scan, or results - book an appointment with Dr Chui and more, more news and information that I dont want to know but have to understand - the risk, what's going happen, how long is the surgery... I am already crying typing this. I hate myself for being such a crybaby sometimes! How the heck will I win the battle with me crying all the time. Argh! (that reminds me, I have to drop Dr Chui an email informing him of the scan), or results - dont know what to expect...
Fourthly, I have a few friends asking me if I approached the foundations. We approached Ronald McDonald, they have apparently closed applications for this year. Well, I am not surprised with the financial crisis. Our social worker from Children Cancer Foundation also said that she can only help if the treatment is in Singapore. This is why I am begging and pleading you to help me. It seems that these foundations only can help if treatment is in Singapore. But how do I tell them that my Charmaine's additional 20%-40% chance of survival is not in Singapore but in New York. :( I wish, more than anyone else for the treatment to be in Singapore! But my doctor is also helpless. She tried to write to them to allow the drug to be brought into Singapore but we failed. 'Clinical trial, not humanized, no drug company willing to manufacture the drug because there is not enough demand for it (although NB is one of the more common childhood cancer, it is still not THE MOST common)'--- some of the info I read up. Oh, apparently, money would be invested on drugs that can also be used to cure other cancers, instead of a targeted cancer... commercial motivations... lots of many many other reasons... all that makes rational sense but nothing that is helpful really. [I also read about the many other scientists and researchers devoting their time and effort to finding a cure for NB, a very big thank you!]
Five, I brought Jase in for a blood test yesterday. I got the scare of my life. When the nurse came out and informed me that his platelets were too low and they needed to do another blood test for him, my tears just came streaming down non stop. I am very vulnerable now. I can break anytime and I cannot take another blow in my life. SO PLEASE, whoever is up there hearing me, PLEASE SPARE ME!!! Anyway, I was discussing with a few mommies with Luekemia kids and somehow, Jase is displaying the same symptoms. Losing weight, complaining of knee pain when I dont see any wounds, fever on and off... They advised me to bring Jase for a check just to be safe. Ever since Char's diagnosis, I always have this tingling feeling. Jase is affected. Some friends say it could be pyschological issues and that Jase is subconsciously falling ill more than often to get the attention that he so desperately need from mommy me and yet I am so ashamed to say that I hardly could provide... Anyway, thank goodness, I waited anxiously for the second test result and it turned out fine. They found a blood clot in the first test which resulted in the low platelets count. Well, I am not resting my guard yet, probably never will. Charmaine's first blood test also yielded nothing too fearful but look what I gotten eventually... Hey mommies reading this, please dont be freaked out by me... I am just an over-the-board paranoid mommy now. Doctor did find a couple of swollen lymp nodes around Jase neck and we are going to have to observe him carefully. It could be just from a simple viral infection to ...................whatever... I dont want to think or know now.
Lastly, to the many people with questions on the fundraising that my friend Josse is coordinating and the questions coming into the blog, please do bear with us. I seek your kind understanding here because as some of you might already know our dear godma jolene is getting married in July and busy with her prep while trying to help as much as possible... Charlene is also busy with her work and lessons... Josse is a mother of one, with kids and work to worry as well... I admit that we are in a bit of a "trying to figure out" and "work in progress" mode, with all of us sorting things out on our end... we try to call, we try to email... but we are not operating like a steering committee who gets to brain storm and sort the challenges out. All of them, including many others working silently in the background, are doing it out of a goodwill for me and for Charmaine. We dont have a structure and we only have 4 of us but we know every cent of the money that comes through our way is hard earned money and I know that I am picking the worst time in pleading to you to help me because of the financial crisis... I know that many of you out there are having a tough time like me too... BUT PLEASE, please believe me that I have no wish to mis-use, cheat or put the funds to inappropriate use... Charmaine's battle with neuroblastoma is a life-long one... For as long as she lives, there is always a chance for relapse and living life in my shoes is not pleasant at all... I have lost my carpe diem...
I just like to end by saying that: "I thank everyone for everything, donations, words of encouragement, and just being around. I am forever grateful. THANK YOU!"
Love,
Cyn mummy.
PS: Please take good care. Good Health is priceless.
Fever... fever again...
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Charmaine is now lying besides me on the bed, receiving her daily dose of antibiotics and GCSF.
We were discharged on Monday but barely 24 hours later on Tuesday, her fever spiked up to 38.5 and I had to rush her down to NUH. I was really worried but at the same time somewhat frustrated with the darn fever. I had explicitly wish that she wouldnt get any fever this time around because of the upcoming surgery and too little time for Char to play with Kor Kor. But alas, have you ever felt as 'jinxed' as I am when it comes to wishing for something? I am mad at myself for saying out aloud my wish because I am pretty sure I jinxed Char and caused the fever!...
Anyway, this bout of fever is another new or rather different experience. She need not be warded! Well, yes NUH has no beds too. However, it really is no fault of NUH or any hospital for not having enough or no beds. There are simply too many kids suffering from cancer. And I am very ashamed to say that had Charmaine not been part of the community of childhood cancers, I would never have realized this fact.
So I digress. Back to the difference for this treatment of Char's fever. Thankfully, Char's neutrophils count is above 1, we need not be admitted. :-) Instead, we have to travel to NUH daily for her infusion of antibiotics. Spend a couple of hours, back and forth for 3 days. Its good because Char gets to see Kor Kor everyday. Also, Char doesnt have to live with the fear of injection daily for her GCSF because I requested for the nurses to give the injection into the burette instead! Thank goodness, it is do-able in NUH because in KKH, the injections have to be given on the arm even when we are admitted and Char was already hooked up on the portacath. [I do not wish to discuss the differences in nursing protocols - not my expertise at all]
Nonetheless, the frequent travelling means that I basically have little time to try and sort out the other challenges...
Written on Thursday 4th June 2009 in Outpatient Ward, NUH.
Please do continue to pray for my little princess as her operation date is nearing...
Thank you so much.
Love,
Cyn
We were discharged on Monday but barely 24 hours later on Tuesday, her fever spiked up to 38.5 and I had to rush her down to NUH. I was really worried but at the same time somewhat frustrated with the darn fever. I had explicitly wish that she wouldnt get any fever this time around because of the upcoming surgery and too little time for Char to play with Kor Kor. But alas, have you ever felt as 'jinxed' as I am when it comes to wishing for something? I am mad at myself for saying out aloud my wish because I am pretty sure I jinxed Char and caused the fever!...
Anyway, this bout of fever is another new or rather different experience. She need not be warded! Well, yes NUH has no beds too. However, it really is no fault of NUH or any hospital for not having enough or no beds. There are simply too many kids suffering from cancer. And I am very ashamed to say that had Charmaine not been part of the community of childhood cancers, I would never have realized this fact.
So I digress. Back to the difference for this treatment of Char's fever. Thankfully, Char's neutrophils count is above 1, we need not be admitted. :-) Instead, we have to travel to NUH daily for her infusion of antibiotics. Spend a couple of hours, back and forth for 3 days. Its good because Char gets to see Kor Kor everyday. Also, Char doesnt have to live with the fear of injection daily for her GCSF because I requested for the nurses to give the injection into the burette instead! Thank goodness, it is do-able in NUH because in KKH, the injections have to be given on the arm even when we are admitted and Char was already hooked up on the portacath. [I do not wish to discuss the differences in nursing protocols - not my expertise at all]
Nonetheless, the frequent travelling means that I basically have little time to try and sort out the other challenges...
Written on Thursday 4th June 2009 in Outpatient Ward, NUH.
Please do continue to pray for my little princess as her operation date is nearing...
Thank you so much.
Love,
Cyn
www.ourfeistyprincess.com
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Dear all,
A website for Charmaine is up at http://ourfeistyprincess.com/.
Due to the various limited functions of this blog, a close friend of Cynthia has volunteered to undertake the task of creating this website. Do visit it to learn more about Cynthia and Charmaine's plight and how you can help them.
Please note that the website is not a replacement for this blog. Both are meant to co-exist hand in hand.
This blog would remain as the main platform for updating on Charmaine.
Love,
Jolene
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Charmaine was discharged yesterday.
A website for Charmaine is up at http://ourfeistyprincess.com/.
Due to the various limited functions of this blog, a close friend of Cynthia has volunteered to undertake the task of creating this website. Do visit it to learn more about Cynthia and Charmaine's plight and how you can help them.
Please note that the website is not a replacement for this blog. Both are meant to co-exist hand in hand.
This blog would remain as the main platform for updating on Charmaine.
Love,
Jolene
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Charmaine was discharged yesterday.
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