Hello to everyone reading to find updates about Charmaine...
Before I begin, I like to say a very BIG "THANK YOU" to everyone who has wrote in with words of encouragement and donation in kind or offering to help in any ways possible. I am indeed blessed. So is my little princess.
I make it a point to read every email and every posting that everyone have posted and every single word has touched me greatly. Be it a short cheer-us-on message to more heartfelt stories and experiences, I simply could not stop myself from crying while reading them. THANK YOU THANK YOU! I like to apologise for not being able to reply to each one of you personally, but I like to assure you that I will not forget your words of encouragement and efforts in helping me to save my little Charmaine.
We are still far away from the targeted deposit amount of USD $350,000. The amount raised and all my savings included amount to about SGD $50,000. As worried as I am, I am not giving up hope. Since the day I made up my mind to do my best to give Charmaine a better chance to win her monster, my mind has not wavered. Although I still cant help feeling hurt and upset when some question my decision, I just keep telling myself to focus on what I have to do and whatever is within my control. I told myself, "I can cry but I still must move on".
Accepting the interview from papers, pleading publicly, whatever I do, I just want my Charmaine to live...
I met up with Dr Chui Chan Hon from SurgeryforChildren to discuss about Charmaine's surgery this afternoon. I can safely say Dr Chui is one of the most compassionate doctors I've come across. Knowing my plight, he never charges me a single cent for the consultation. THANK YOU Dr Chui! He is a doctor who is truly concern for his patients and will go the extra mile. He told me today that he has in fact written to Hongkong himself, asking if there were anymore 3F8 that can be given to my little princess. I was very moved. Even though the reply from Hongkong was 'NOT POSSIBLE', the fact that he is always doing everything he can to help Charmaine live, is what I am touched by. I have never doubted Singapore's medical care and expertise, and is in fact glad that Charmaine is born a Singaporean. This is because if Charmaine is born anywhere else, she may not even have been able to be treated with the chemotherapy, and may not have even have been able to make it this far... I have heard of the other less fortunate children who are diagnosed in China and were not able to undergo the same treatment that Charmaine has previously gone through...
Anyhow, listening to Dr Chui's explanation on what to expect on thursday is both assuring and yet painful. I know I can count on Dr Chui to do the best for Charmaine as many other neuroblastoma kids' parents have testified. Nonetheless, "tube in the nose, tube from the stomach, urinal tube, pain, mortality rate is pretty much everything that I dont really want to hear or see. I tried my best to absorb what I should as a parent, and kept telling not to cry; not to cry when Dr Chui was explaining, not to cry when Charmaine comes out of the OT. I really am not as strong as what you think of me, and I really dont know how can I stay sane when I see her post op. The only distraction I have for myself is to focus on her coming out of the OT alive... ALIVE, ALIVE, ALIVE is all I should pray for now... I am almost going crazy when others tell me to be prepared. I DONT KNOW HOW and I WILL NEVER BE!
Even the thought of me going into the OT with her is too painful for me... I can still remember vividly how the scary room looks like to me when she went in for her tumor biopsy and her porthacath implant surgery...
I'm so sorry, I cant continue writing anymore...
Love,
Cyn mummy
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34 comments:
Be strong Cynthia! You are not alone. You've touched many hearts already and your conviction will see you through. You're in my prayers daily.
Have you also thought about trying to take your case to the US? Maybe try to get a story in the media over there? I know Americans are very compassionate and give generously to such cases. Just a thought. Be strong!
Cynthia, you have been very strong and so does Charmaine. The journey in front is still very long. But I hope both of you know that you are not alone. There are so many people like me who will continue to pray and hope both of you to be able to see light in the tunnel soon.
Charmaine, it has been difficult but you are such a special kid in such a way that you are very strong indeed. Your mummy is right. You must continue to fight the monster. You will not fight the monster alone. Mummy and so many kind people in this world will help you do that
Find this comment at bottom of page. Link : http://beracahvalley.blogspot.com/2009/06/blogging-for-brave-little-girl.html
At 9:54 AM, Melis said...
I am the mother to a little boy who recently lost his four battle with neuroblastoma at the tender age of seven.
I read frequently - with a little bit of despair - about families believing that the 3F8 antibody or some other treatment, is the answer for their childs cancer.
If there were a cure - or something close to it - for this cancer it would be available to everyone. It may, as many treatments do, give a family more precious time with their child to create wonderful memories and allow their child many great experiences.
If you are touched by this beautiful child's story and her journey through the world of cancer, please help her and the 1000's of children like her by donating your time and funds to help finding a cure.
Pediatric cancer (in the US) is grossly underfunded - by the government and by the big cancer associations. Find a private fund that is run well and give.
Be strong cynthia ... Will keep Charmaine in our prayers - Eerena
Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime,
Therefore, we are saved by hope.
Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history;
Therefore, we are saved by faith.
Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone.
Therefore, we are saved by love.
No virtuous act is quite a virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own;
Therefore, we are saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness.
God Bless n God Speed
The Saint aka Santa G
小汎禧你要知道你并不孤单的，我會继续為你祈祷的，我相信你能勇敢的战斗到底和也會尽快恢复起來的。
There will also be a light waiting for you at the end of this darkness. Be strong! will keep charmaine in my prayers.
I know about your daughter's plight from saturday New Paper. Please remain strong for your daughter's sake.
http://www.graceoughtoncancerfoundation.org/loneliestroad/3F8.html
Ask your doctor regarding 8H9 trial drug.
hey, will be praying for you & your lil' one :)
Continue to be strong Cynthia. For both Charmaine and Jase.
The link to the new paper:
http://www.tnp.sg/news/story/0,4136,204956,00.html?
Zanne
Cynthia
Be strong and continue to fight. Never give up without first putting up a fight. You must have faith that Charmaine will pull through for positive attracts positive. Your positivity will help Charmaine to have the strength to go through the surgery and give her the will to continue fighting. You are constantly in my prayers. Should you need any help, pls feel free to say. You know how you can contact me.
Hi Charmaine and Cynthia,
Stay strong and do know that you are not alone. Will keep you in my prayer.
Dear Cynthia,
My heart goes out to you and your family, especially little Charmaine. Please stay strong, and I believe that you will turn the corner in this tumultuous time and see the light of hope. Reading your blog, I sincerely think that you are the best mommy that Charmaine can ever hope to have.
Hi Cynthia,
Someone left me a comment on my site directing me to your blog. Hmm i really don't know what to say because words may not mean much at this point of time..
I know what its like going through the pain, fearing the worst but still always clinging on to that bit of hope. I really understand the emotional turmoil because i've been through the experience of losing my own life through a medical condition once as well..
But please continue being strong for Charmaine and Jase. At a time like this, its really what they need most especially from you -love.
You are a wonderful person Cynthia and so is your beautiful child, Charmaine. Your story has touched the hearts and impacted the lives of many and we will all continue to keep you in prayer through this battle..
Matthew
www.matt.sg
Hi Cynthia,
I know you said you are not strong enough. But I can assure you that you are. So much stronger than I would be if I were to have the same experience as you.
You and your children are in my thoughts and i pray as often as i can for you to find the strength you need, for Charmaine to fight her monster and for Jace to be a kind and understanding boy.
I hope you find some comfort in knowing that there are many ppl out there rooting for you.
Dear Cynthia
The fight against cancer is a Marathon not a Sprint. There is no instant fix to the disease but a systematic and progressive approach which the hospital adopts.
The surgery is just a milestone in this marathon, at which the tumor is de-bulked. However, this is not the end, but the beginning as the body would have to regain its strength before the subsequent courses of chemotherapy may be applied to clean up the remaining cancer cells circulating in the body.
The fight against cancer is so hard, because unlike other viruses and bacteria, which are alien, cancer cells are a part of our own body and can learn to outsmart our immunal system.
Singapore is already in the fore front of research in the cloning of the T-cells, naturally occuring in our body and training these cells to hunt down and destroy cancerous cells as a part of cancer treatment.
Take 1 step at a time, the initial courses of chemotherapy which aim at reducing the size of the tumor is already successful that Charmaine is able to proceed to surgery.
When Charmaine awakens from surgery, she would need to find her loved ones around her.
Strong and Ready to continue this marathon with her.
Have Faith.
Regards
Patrick
Hi Cynthia,
I'm a Buddhist and I will pray for Charmaine. I know many people have been telling you to be strong, and I know it's easier said then done. But i'm sure you can do it. Try picturing yourself growing old with Charmaine and Jase, I'm sure that will make you strong!
In jesus name we shall pray and the diesease shall stop,let us pray.
In God we trust,god bless...
Hi Erica
Cynthia should also eat and sleep well too
Chris
Melis is right about families believing that the 3F8 antibody or some other treatment, is the answer for their childs cancer.
If there were a cure - or something close to it - for this cancer it would be available to everyone.
U should really consider treatment in Sg. The amount of money U are trying is too far reached. Imagine USD350,000 could save many lives.
Be strong for your Child. She really need you right now. I'll pray for you !
Please stay atrong. I can only imagine how tough it must be for you.. But before you know it, all these will be gone, and it will seem like a bad dream. When Charmaine grows up to be a happy healthy young lady, she can then look back on this blog and see that so many people are so concerned about her.
I read the New Paper article, and I cannot help myself and starting weeping too. It really breaks my heart..
I am so sorry that you and Charmaine have to go through this after going through so much already.
I am praying for you. Remember you are not alone, we are all here for you, regardless of whether we're friends or strangers.
I believe you and Char will pull through this. In the meantime, I will encourage more people to donate money. Please stay strong! :)
Hey Cyn mami... just to let you know im still reading and stay strong. Lil char will fight the monster and turn out fine... She's a little lion (remember her roaring that other evening) i will keep both of u in my thoughts..... hope to see ya soon. xxxxxxxxxxxxx love & hugs
Stay Strong! Praying for you!
Hope all will go well for charmaine's surgery. May she enjoys blissful life thereafter...
My prayers are with her... Hang on there!
Hi Cyn,
You and your little ones are my prayer. You've mentioned that you are not strong, but i see God's great strength manifesting in you. Mummy, you gota keep going but you are not alone. God is with you and your family, and never once he will let go.
Amen!
Dear Cynthia and Charmaine,
Don't give up. I also help pray for Charmaine's surgery. I guess, anybody who is aware of the situation, regardless of race or religion, will keep Charmaine in their respective prayers!
Jia You!
When my dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 Cancer, my siblings and I were seeking different types of treatment for him. Even though he is old and weak, we insisted him to go through Chemotherapy and Radiotherapy since do not wish to give up any treatment that could save him. We were all ready to empty our savings for him. However, after a short 3 months, my dad passed away due to complications that araises after his Radiotherapy.
Initially, we were devastated, wondering if we had made the right choice sending him for Radiotherapy and insisting him to go through all the torture,and finally the complications.
So, when reading Patrick's comments, even though it sounded like a cold blanket, there are indeed some factors worth considering.
None of us can predict whether its right receiving treatment in US, or in SG. Cynthia, do what you think is best and for that at least you live with NO regrets.
Be strong Charmaine and Cynthia ! You have touched many hearts already indeed. My group of friends are raising funds for you... , it may not be much, but we wish to contribute to your quest.
Love, Cheryl
Hi Cynthia and Charmine,
Your daughter's condition was brought to my notice through an AJ alumini newsletter.
I have a 13month old boy and it hurts me to even see him fall down and hurt himeself. But what you are going through, I can only imagine as a parent... My heart goes out to you and your family. Stay strong and pray. We will keep you in my prayers.
it must be difficult for the parents of Charmaine,as well as the other parents of numerous cancer patients who have been suffering in silence and not received the same kind of publicity that Charmaine has had.
Hope people donate to organisations like the singapore children's cancer society where the money goes to other cancer patients as well.
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