THANK YOU ANGELS, We raised half a million for Charmaine!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

I received a message from Jolene yesterday morning, ‘We have raised that half a million and we can start preparing to send Charmaine over!’

Thank you for giving us a chance at living…
I am very touched.
I want to say a heartfelt THANK YOU to each one of you who have made it possible for my feisty little one.

THANK YOU for your kindness, thank you for your help, thank you for your time and effort, thank you for the fundraisers, thank you for the encouragement and thank you for walking this journey with me.

This additional 20% - 40% chance of survival would never have been possible for Charmaine, without you.
You have given not only my Charmaine a chance at living…
You have provided a chance for Jase to continue to play and fight with his mei mei…
You have also given me a chance to be with the 2 kids that I so love and need…
Most importantly, YOU have granted my family a chance to be the family that we have always been…

THANK YOU.

The Journey in New York…
I have been asked if I am mentally prepared for what I may expect in New York, especially since I am going to be facing a lot of things by myself, without the support of family and friends. My answer is “No, I am not”. I freaked out when I went on my first business trip and ended up cooping myself in the hotel for fear of getting myself lost. I am terrible at my sense of direction. I am not sure how I am going to be taking care of the 2 kids and whether I would crumble under all the stress… I am very afraid…

“Will I be able to take the news if things don’t turn out the way I wish it would be?” NOPE. I will not. I won’t lie to you and say that I am prepared for what come may and I would be able to take things in my own stride because I simply am not. I have never been prepared for such a huge challenge thrown into my life and they just come crushing down one after another… Whether I am prepared or not, things still happen… And whether I am prepared or not, I still have to do what I have to do…

I am feeling scared, overwhelmed and helpless…

I will probably cry a million times when we are there. Getting around, comforting the kids, taking care of Charmaine, making all the decisions for the treatments, cooking, grocery shopping, cleaning, bills, finances, etc… However, I still have to do what I have to do.

I cannot stop moving ahead because I cant… Charmaine’s life is dependent on my decisions and time is not on my side either…

On the decision to bring Jase…
One of the major decisions I had to make was whether I should leave Jase behind. I have always been thinking about this since day one of my decision to plead publicly. I understand its better to leave Jase behind because I can than focus my attention on Charmaine and not have to worry about Jase.

When Charmaine was recovering from her surgery in KKH, neither the physiotherapist nor myself could get Charmaine to try and take a few steps. We were discharged from KKH with me worrying over how I was going to try and get Charmaine to practice walking despite the pain. The first time when she did her tumor biopsy and surgery to implant the port-a-cath into her body, she took quite some time to overcome the pain and start walking. Hence, with this major surgery, I was even more paranoid and worried. What happened next when we reached home from KKH just got me speechless. Upon reaching home, while still seated in her stroller, Jase walked up to Charmaine and held her hand and than before I know it, the 2 of them were already walking hand in hand back into the room. No support from mommy. Of course I was still very concerned that she might fall as she had not walked for 7 days and I wasn’t sure if I could trust her leg muscles to support her body weight. But Charmaine seemed to have forgotten her fears and forgotten that she hadn’t walked in days and all the pain and just walked as normally as a healthy kid. I was in tears and I knew that I had to bring Jase along. Everyday while in NUH receiving her chemo, one of the things Charmaine looks forward to is her Kor Kor’s daily visits at night. Her smile and her eyes glowed with such happiness that it would be too cruel of me to deprive her of if I left Jase behind. I know it would be tougher with 2 kids in toll but once again, I prefer to look at the help that Jase would provide me with. As much as I try to hold my spirits up high and play with Charmaine, there is always a tinge of sadness behind my laughter and I no longer could play like how we used to play together. The kids are different. They do not share my worries and fears and they play and fight just like the way that they have been doing for years… I need Jase to keep the spirits up for Charmaine…

Most importantly, if anything should happen... I cant bear the thought of Jase being apart from his mei mei and I need Jase with me too...

Other Updates…
I still have other updates on how the discussion with Dr Aung turned out on Tuesday. In short, the decision is still to send Charmaine over as soon as she recovers from this chemo as any delay would give the cancer cells in her bone marrow to spread…

I am going to be busy taking care of Charmaine for the next week, while also trying to sort out the logistics for New York… Please kindly bear with me and the rest of the feisty team if we are slow with updates…

As expected, this is the combination of chemo drugs that will cause her to be in quite a fair bit of discomfort. Since our discharge yesterday afternoon, Charmaine has been vomiting a handful of times at home… Basically, everything she ate, she vomited… She is still hungry but the body doesn’t allow her to keep the food… She has also been complaining of a tummy pain which I suspect is nausea as she doesn’t know how to differentiate… Spirits wise, our little feisty princess is still doing her best to stay the way she is… despite the nausea, despite the tummy pain…

Please allow me to keep this a short one as I need to get moving again.

I want to say a THANK YOU to all the angels… THANK YOU!

May every one of you be blessed with good health and happiness…

Love,
Cyn mommy

47 comments:

JKLF said...

Hi Cynthia,
I am happy for you to know that you guys have raise the half a million for our little princess... I am sure that there are more to come for the the expenses later. Don't worry...
Hi Little princess,
Stay strong... I know it is difficult to get food down.... Just keep trying....
Hi Little Jase,
I am sure your 妹妹 need you most... I am sure you will take very good care of her with mummy....
Hi, Feisty Team.
Good job... Keep it up...

Sleepy Cat said...

The impossible has already happened (half a mil). The other impossibilities will turn into possibilities. Charmaine will get well. Jia you!

Anonymous said...

god bless you and your family. i am 100% positive charmaine will get well:) dont worry:)

yuene said...

YAY! Go Feisty Team! Give our best to Charmaine!

Daisy said...

Yeah Charmaine... The impossible has happened for you, and now its you to show us the miracle again.. We strongly believe that you can do it with the help of mummy and korkor Jase...
Cyn mummy... you are great.. hang on there...

kgkool said...

i went to the 100.3 event but not donate only for the goodies bag. Alot of ppl also think this girl cannot make it. Now i think the mother very selfish bring her only son along go witness death. Somemore now got H1N1 wait they might lose him first how?

kailin said...

Cynthia,
stay strong and be brave to fight for the upcoming war! i know it will be hard but for the sake of your 2 precious you have to do it. When you are down no one is there to guide the 2 little ones. So you have to be strong! Charmine is a strong ger with hope to live on, so you too have to be strong and prepare for more miracle that will be coming up REAL SOON!!

Little Princess,
you are a very strong ger @ such a tender age. Your spirit of fighting the monster is so strong that you had made all the impossible possible! So stay strong and have faith in fighting the monster again in NY. And be sure that you can win the monster again!

Little Jase,
your sister need you most. I am sure you will be a great helper to Cynthia mommy when you are in NY!!

Feisty Team,
good job keep it up! and we have that when Cyn is busy with the kids the team still provide us with updates =) i mean no need everyday updates. At least let us know how is the Little Princess doing. Is everything fine? =))

kgkool,
haven you finish reading the whole post? Charmine pillar of support is not only her mommy, feisty team BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY JASE HER BELOVED BROTHER OF HERS!!! IF you are not putting them in your prayer list then please just keep to yourself instead of giving stupid comment like who Cynthia would lost now. NOW WHAT CYNTHIA NEED IS ENCOURAGEMENT AND WHAT WE CAN DO IS CONTINUE OUR PRAYER FOR THEM.

lazybear said...

Hi Cynthia,

Will Charmaine be subjected to more chemo sessions or will this be the last one? If there will be more...i really suggest that you seek concurrent TCM treatment. My vomitting was almost non-existence after I took that approach. TCM will detox and rebuilt the body and also reduces the impact of the side-effects.

YiShan said...

Hi Cynthia,

Really glad that you have raised $500K. My tears of joy fell when I read the news. Don't worry. Like what Sleepy Cat has mention the impossible has already happened (half a mil), the other impossibilities will turn into possibilities.

Dear Charmaine, you must fight all the way ok? All the way here is not easy for the feisty team n Mummy, you must recover. Hope you recover and be a fine lady and in return render your service to the society to those who need you. Majority of the Singaporeans are with you. We will be behind you for the fight with monster.

If you all should need anymore help, feel free to let us know again. We will be in SG praying hard for Charmaine and on the standby to render any help should u need us :)

Regards,
Shan

Aaron said...

Hi Fiesty team,

Congrats on reaching your first milestone. Rest assured there are many who will continue to put their weight behind you whatever your decisions to reach the final goal. Bring jase along if you think it will be beneficial in raising char's spirit as that is an esssential ingredient in a fight of such nature where physical and mental strength ( which most people ignore ) is equally crucial.
H1N1 is everywhere now and the government had already acknowleged by removing travelling directives to Singaporeans as the risks of getting it here in Singapore and NY for that matter is the same.
Do not be discouraged by the "alot of people also think this girl cannot make it" statement as you know as well as I do the probable source of the statistics.;)
Btw, I've sent your team an email about possible avenues of help which you can pursue in New York ( sent on 4 July 00:12 & 0018 ). I hope it will be useful to you, sender's email starts with kaXXXXXXX.

All the best

Aaron

2am said...

Hi Cynthia,

Congrads! You have achieved the first impossibility that you think was not possible sometime back. I believed you will hit the second one and so on..... I was thinking that probably one of the feisty team member can go along with you, at least there is a helping hand around when you need, and you too also need a support, just like charmaine need support from Jase. I think the feisty team should think about this. It will defintely help to ease the anxiety you faced when you go there.

Take care and god blessed!

susanteh said...

So happy to hear that the $$ issue for Charmaine's NY treatment is resolved - One less worry for Cynthia and the feisty team. This is a testimony to the team's perserverance and also the generosity of strangers :-) Yay!

Take care. Charmaine and family will continue to be in my prayers.

Michele said...

Take care of yourself and your little ones. All the best.

babyxin said...

hi..
wanted to wish princess charmaine to be strong and get well soon..
im sure u wil defeat the cancer like i do..
we shall all saluate to u being such a wonderful and brave girl.
lastly,jiayou and we will always love you. =)

Michel said...

i am soo ssooo happy to learn that you've reached the minimum goal we are trying so hard for... and i hope that all the angels will try to continue and help in which everyway they can as the after surgery in NY still requires some $$..
Mom Cyn, your children are your strength and I believe with these two mighty little ones by your side, they are all the strength and morale you need...
take care and remember, all of us love you and your babies...

Kao Bei Gia said...

Dear Cynthia, very very happy that the goal has been reached!!! Your story has really touched and inspired many people, and we will all support u, Charmaine, Jase, Feisty Team, as Charmaine begins her journey to recovery! 500K seemed like so much in the beginning, but as difficult as it was, it happened! And I'm very positive that Charmaine will be better!! Hope to hear good news soon!!!

Tay said...

I will pray for you, our little princess and your mommy and your kor kor every day...

Tay said...

to kgkool,

sad to know that we have such a heartless being in our nation..i think we all will pray for you also..hope that you dont need any help in future

Eve said...

Am so happy to hear the news! Way to go!

The next thing is to continue to take care of your own health.

Like others, i think you should have someone go with you. Maybe your mum? At least someone to look after Jase if you need to run some errands. Unless you know of someone there you can trust to leave Jase in their care if need be?

Should Charmaine need your attention all the time, Jase can't hang out with you in the hospital all the time. Envvironment wise not too healthy for him too.

But anyway, the big hurdle is over. Jia you. Keep us posted. Take care.

To kgcool

I don't know what other words to describe you that the others hasn't used. You are like an irritating mosquitoes keep buzzing near the ear. But that's about all.... that's how small you are....

BabyAshton said...

So happy find out the money has been raised and to know that our fellow singaporeans are united in times of need. Every effort counts.

We support you to bring Jase along as the family must united as one to fight the "demon" instead of you constantly worrying on both ends at different time zones.

Jia You Charmaine, Cynthia & Jase

From
Elaine & Poh Heng
Today's Motherhood

Jessie said...

So so so happy that our goal has been reached!!! My eyes well up with tears of joy even as I type this message. Go for it, Cyn! Yes, the road ahead holds many uncertainties and we can't be sure of the outcome, but as you'd mentioned sometime ago, you just have to try until your last breath or Char's, so that should anything happen (TOUCH WOOD!), you'll know that you've really tried your very best for her and hasn't let her down in any way as her mother.

Thanks Cyn, for being such an inspiration to all mothers here. Although you are younger than me, your strength, determination and great love for your daughter have taught me a lot. You will definitely overcome all hurdles in NY, just as you've done in Singapore. So don't be afraid, you have the calibre to do it, YOUR CHILDREN IS YOUR STRENGTH! Take heart in that!

G-Mimi said...

Please dun worry so much !
GOD / BUDDHA will show you all the smooth path when all of you in NY !!
Cyn, don't show your worries coz' Jase & Charmaine will know thru your body language ( that's how I learnt from my late mum during her stay in KKH...she spotted my worries and made her more worry over me instead! ) so, pls dun ever follow my footsteps ! Your dearest KIDs need you and so do they !!!

All readers wanna see you in good health and have lotsa of strength /energy to stay COOL !! Dun worry, you WON'T be LOST in NY coz' it's not yr biz trip.......take as yr family trip to NY(long travelling at least 16hrs)with Jase & Charmaine. Remember to put on cheerful face, OK ! JIA YOU JIA YOU !!

Lynette said...

OH THANK GOD. I burst into tears the moment I saw this post. Its amazing how when people come together, we can achieve so much in such a short amount of time. Humans do have a heart afterall. :)

I am always praying for Charmaine. She is a very strong little girl and I am SURE she will be fine!

IMHO, I think its better to leave Jase behind, because bringing an extra person will incur extra costs and not to mention you also need to take care of one more kid. Maybe can get a trusted friend or relative to look after him for the time being.

Lynette said...

My God, I am absolutely appalled by Kgkool's comment.

Went to the event JUST to get goodie bag and not to donate, and still dare to say?? SHAME ON YOU.

Yes, even with this new treatment Charmaine's chances are only 50%. But if Cyn mummy has been fighting and trying SO HARD to save her daughter, WHO ARE YOU to make such comments? WHAT IF IT WAS YOUR LOVED ONE FIGHTING FOR HER LIFE? You're just going to sit and watch her die??

Please have some fucking sensitivity. If you have nothing better to say, keep your mouth shut.

I hope you get cancer. People like you will get punished.

Joanne said...

Hi Cyn Mummy,

Good Job and Keep Going!

You indeed made miracle come true.. Bear in mind tat all of us will be rite here, in S'pore giving you lots of support and will be praying for Charmaine..

Be Strong :)

kgkool said...

Lynette, hope u don't fall into the curse urself. Haha, i myself don't believe in such shit but since U do, watch urself. LOL

kgkool said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kgkool said...

hey u guys can afford it so better still bring the whole family

Kathleen said...

Hi Cynthia
I am very very happy to hear that little Charmaine will be able to get treatment very soon. Just don't worry about what other people say. Do what you think is right and beneficial to your little girl. You have enough worries already to bother about other non essential non important stuff.
Take care of yourself too (that includes enough eat and sleep)cos you will need to be healthy in order to look after your kids.
You are very brave to bring them by yourself but I am sure everything will be ok in the end. So hang in there and bring us back the good news!

Aaron said...

On
https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=951360027837319593&postID=106178593153532657&page=1

Anonymous said...
Ok anon 1212, i changed my mind. I'm with u. Lets watch this girl fade away. She's going to U.S soon for more pain! LOL

Over here
kgkool said...
Lynette, hope u don't fall into the curse urself. Haha, i myself don't believe in such shit but since U do, watch urself. LOL

Hmm...Some uncanny similarities??? Enuf said, attack of the anon clones again.
Aaron

Agnes said...

Dear Charmaine's Mummy,

Juz want to let u know tat u r not alone in this ordeal. The whole world is praying for you and Charmaine.I myself had gone through this when my son Wayne was diagnosed with stage 4 Rhabdomyosarcoma when he was 18 months old. he couldn't walk for more than 40 days. Doc only gave him a prognosis of 20%. But now....a year after his 10months intensive chemo....he is happily running about juz like any other boys...We won't know what the future HOLDS for us but the least we can do for our child is to be there wif them....cheer them on despite the heartache that we felt...put all our emotions aside and stay focused on their RECOVERY.

Remember....u r not alone. God Bless.

FTer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Juliet said...

Dearest Cyn,

Thank God that the amount is raised! We are all behind you in this battle. You are not alone nor forsaken.

As you brace through each storm, you will become stronger. Same goes for Charmaine. No matter how others try to put you down, no matter how they do not have faith in you, YOU keep going and just PRESS on.

Praying for you and the lives you will touch with your unconditional love.

Symphony of Love said...

Glad that you have successfully raised the half a million to take the next step on Charmaine's treatment. Thinking of the move to New York is another one big steps and may at first seem impossible to take that first step. And yet Charmaine very much depends on you to take that major step. Probably you may break down the step to smaller steps and focus on taking each step at a time.

Would anyone here happen to know of any Singaporeans stationing in New York now? Would it be better if any of them can be connected to give you some advices on the trip?

Chris said...

Hi Cynthia
Glad to hear the half a million is raised. Be strong, your kids need you. Please take care of yourself as you need the strength to move on.
Hi Little princess,
Take care and get well soon. Gambatte! Jia you!

jj~ said...

Dear Cynthia,
Take care and be strong. We are all behind you. All will turn out well for you and your kids.

Dear Charmaine,
You are a very brave girl. I know you miss your friends and going to school but there are many korkors and jiejies who care for you, just like your godma and we want to help you fight the monster together. Stay happy because we all love you.

Lynette said...

kgkool:

I have nothing to worry about. :) I dont have an evil heart like you.

Cant be arsed to argue with fucktards like you. Stay away from this blog, we dont need pests like you here.

When you get cancer next time, dont ask people for donations ok? I'd rather feed a dog than give u a cent. :)

Jx said...

Please check out this website too if you have not:

http://www.nant.org/

kgkool said...

Lynettebitch, this is not YOUR blog. Get over it, its not about YOU.

Aaron said...

hey anon, you have finally decided to come out of the shadows???

"gkool said...
Lynettebitch, this is not YOUR blog. Get over it, its not about YOU.
July 7, 2009 11:19 AM"

"Anonymous said...
i bet all these positive comments in reply are from Aaron aka Jason aka Anon aka Kao Bei Gia. Each time he said something, there would be streams of comments in support. Cmon, get over it, its not about YOU all the time.
July 2, 2009 10:50 AM"

So you're saying that if the owner of the blog asks YOU to leave YOU will respect that ??? I very much doubt so from your past record. YOU have been asked nicely, begged, cursed, sworn at and YOU are still here day after day spewing YOUR unwelcomed comments. YOU should be smart enough to know by now that YOU and YOUR split personalities are not going to stop this train from leaving no matter what YOU say or do. But I guess YOU don't really care about the outcome of this nor about any other people's well being ( including animals, especially dogs ) as YOUR sole purpose here is to poke fun at every painful wound that char and her loved ones are suffering from. It's all about YOU and for YOUR own amusement.....built on other people's misfortunes, nothing more.

Jamie said...

Congratulations Cynthia on raising the amount. My wife and I are so happy to know you achieved this miracle. Our pray and hopes are with you.

Have abit of pity on cowards like kgkool who hide behind the anonymity of the internet and spew their negativity. Their selfish and insensitive nature probably reflects the sad lives they are living.

It is beautiful thing when so many people gather together to work on a worthy and meaningful cause like helping this courageous little girl who ceratinly deserves better. No one can take away or lessen this episode of kindness and courage away from us all.

Mama Joan said...

Princess: JIA YOU!!
Mommy Cyn: Pls bring Jase!!

susanteh said...

Hey Charmaine, I hope you're recovering well from the chemo side effects.

You know what? There are so many of us here (strangers as well as those who know you personally)praying and hoping for your full recovery. This episode has really drawn out the good in many, many people. Even in recessionary times like these.

I hope that you'll always know how MUCH so many, many people care for you :-) May this knowledge strengthen you in your fight and may it lead you to full recovery soon. God bless.


Lynette, sorry I really don't mean to be preachy here: I understand your frustration with negative viber-s on this blog. But perhaps you might want to tone down the expletives in this blog - in case Jase or Charmaine read it? Really sorry, no offence intended. And also thanks for trying to fend off negative comments ... just note that there's not much point. Many have tried and given up!

Lynette said...

Susanteh:

You're right. I am sorry, it was not appropriate of me to use expletives on this blog.

But I am damn annoyed at this person. He is acting like a total idiot. I do not see any point in arguing further with him.

Cyn mummy and Charmaine are not going to NY for a HOLIDAY for Christ's sake. They are going there to get CANCER treatment so that Char has a chance to LIVE. She MIGHT DIE.

So really, if some anonymous cowards have nothing good to say, they should really keep their mouths shut. I DO know this is not MY blog. Its not YOURS as well, anonymous coward. Name calling is like so childish, by the way.

I might be a bitch but at least I dont go around making nasty comments about a lil girl suffering from cancer.

Cyn mummy, please stay strong!! I admire your courage and your strength. Charmaine and Jase are lucky to have a super mummy like you. Remember, you have many of us behind you!

Tones-Of-Pink said...

Im so uber happy and excited that the team has reached this almost impossible milestone!kudos to all who contributed!!
we dun have to be an experienced parent to imagine wat u are going thru...it is not easy to be strong and face the ordeal alone (physically), but u noe that ALL of us are also mentally and emotionally supporting u. Pls bring us good news. We will pray....

chocolatelover said...

Hi Mummy Cynthia,

So happy to know that the half million is being raised.!!! Finally, All of you can go New York. Bring Jase along. He is definitely a pillar of support for you and Charmaine!! Although it is expensive for lodging but then, i believe all of you will get through!!

I wish Charmaine speedy recovery!!

sindeseller said...

Miracles do happen! The beliefs of the majority have kept things moving and keep going, charmaine, you can make it! And Cyn mommy, do what you think is best, jia you and all the best to cyn & family!

Kgkool comments were simply an act of juvenile behaviour, what a callous attitute towards the suffering of others!

 
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